The Science Channel is looking for people to be on TV. They want "regular people" who know science and can explain it and make it fun. Reality TV strikes again!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Better living through chemistry
I just saw this ad for Requip, which is supposed to relieve restless leg syndrome. I've experienced RLS, but not a severe case - a bit of walking keeps it under control. I'd hate to be one of the poor bastards who has to resort to this crap, after hearing that list of side effects.
Here's a hilarious spoof (adult language).
Here's a hilarious spoof (adult language).
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
The law of averages
I just got back from the grocery store & noticed this on the bottom of the paper bag:
So if I put 34 items in one bag, and 2 in another, and then give the customer one empty bag, that still counts, right?
So if I put 34 items in one bag, and 2 in another, and then give the customer one empty bag, that still counts, right?
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Books I've read
Latest poll results:
Q: Hey, I read that book!
A: True: 6/7 (85%)
...False: 1/7 (15%)
Total: 7/7 (100%)
Don't fail to miss the new poll!
Q: Hey, I read that book!
A: True: 6/7 (85%)
...False: 1/7 (15%)
Total: 7/7 (100%)
Don't fail to miss the new poll!
Date night = marketer's dream
I mentioned that we saw Stardust over the weekend (by the way - if you are thinking about seeing it, do!). I forgot to say that we arrived about one minute after showtime, during an ad for Dell computers. Then we sat through three more ads, including one for Verizon and a REALLY annoying one for gum. Why are ticket prices still so high (6$ for a matinee) if I'm having to watch all these ads too? It makes me think of this scene from Futurama. Fry doesn't mention "menus" though. "Dinner and a movie" is apparently the perfect time to try selling people stuff.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Operation Impending Doom III
I have about a week before classes start. I'm not looking forward to it. Don't have much else to say about it.... just not excited about going back.
Stardust
This weekend, Ben & I went to see Stardust, the movie based on a Neil Gaiman novel. As Ben said, it was the best film we've seen in quite a while. Good story, well-acted, no dull patches. Robert De Niro & Michelle Pfeiffer played great supporting roles.
Today I was looking at the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and came across a really bizarre comment by Jules Brenner at Cinema Signals. He said, "They might have saved something for a sequel but the sorcery of the enterprise is the three-ring fun of the showy inventions and Pfeiffer's merry milking of the villainy cow." WTF!? A sequel? Why are people so obsessed with sequels? Why can't the movie stand on its own?
Today I was looking at the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, and came across a really bizarre comment by Jules Brenner at Cinema Signals. He said, "They might have saved something for a sequel but the sorcery of the enterprise is the three-ring fun of the showy inventions and Pfeiffer's merry milking of the villainy cow." WTF!? A sequel? Why are people so obsessed with sequels? Why can't the movie stand on its own?
Friday, August 24, 2007
Girl fashion
One of the writers over at Slate took her 11-year-old daughter shopping for clothes for the new school year. Read the hilarity! It reminds me of this scene from Family Guy (a bit risqué - turn speakers down if you're at work).
Choice quotes:
It's a comfort to know that if your child can't come up with her own insolent remarks, clothing manufacturers are there to help.
Down the corridor was Abercrombie itself, whose guiding fashion principle seemed to be to print or appliqué the word Abercrombie in the largest letters possible on as much of the clothing as possible.
On our way to our next destination, I tried to avert her eyes from the Victoria's Secret window, where their clothing was emblazoned with the words "University of Pink." (I don't want to know that school's most popular major.)
If I have to choose between Baby Phat and Juicy Couture, I choose mandatory school uniforms.
But when I tried to push some [Old Navy t-shirts] on my daughter, she shook her head. "How can they make a plain T-shirt look bad?"
(At Talbot's (WASP couture), looking for pants): My daughter shook her head. "They're like nautical pants. They're so ugly." Then I held up a pair of beige polyester pants that looked reasonable to me. "Mom, I'm 11!" she said. "I'm not Harriet Miers!"
Choice quotes:
It's a comfort to know that if your child can't come up with her own insolent remarks, clothing manufacturers are there to help.
Down the corridor was Abercrombie itself, whose guiding fashion principle seemed to be to print or appliqué the word Abercrombie in the largest letters possible on as much of the clothing as possible.
On our way to our next destination, I tried to avert her eyes from the Victoria's Secret window, where their clothing was emblazoned with the words "University of Pink." (I don't want to know that school's most popular major.)
If I have to choose between Baby Phat and Juicy Couture, I choose mandatory school uniforms.
But when I tried to push some [Old Navy t-shirts] on my daughter, she shook her head. "How can they make a plain T-shirt look bad?"
(At Talbot's (WASP couture), looking for pants): My daughter shook her head. "They're like nautical pants. They're so ugly." Then I held up a pair of beige polyester pants that looked reasonable to me. "Mom, I'm 11!" she said. "I'm not Harriet Miers!"
Time, apparently, is relative
In today's mail we received this item from a local furniture store. It's a standard flyer of the sort businesses mail out to solicit business. But this one has a curious instruction printed at along the top of the envelope.
It's a good thing it got here today! But if it hadn't, no biggie. Y'know - within a day or so is fine.
It's a good thing it got here today! But if it hadn't, no biggie. Y'know - within a day or so is fine.
Well I didn't know that
According to Robert Bowie Johnson, Jr., "If you know a bit about language, you know it's the consonants that matter, not the vowels."
Really? I had no idea. Tell me more! Let me guess: It's the nouns that matter, not the verbs. Et cetera. What about math? "If you know a bit about arithmetic, you know it's the numbers that matter, not the operations you perform on them." Or geography: "If you know a bit about geography, you know it's the states that matter, not the lakes." Ooh, or politics: "If you know a bit about politics, you know it's the executive branch that matters, not the legislative or judicial branches."
Mr. Johnson is a creationist who insists that Greek art proves the veracity of Biblical stories. He also rails against "name-calling" by those who accept the scientific validity of evolutionary theory. He dubs them "Slime-Snake-Monkey-People" and "mutant randomites."
Really? I had no idea. Tell me more! Let me guess: It's the nouns that matter, not the verbs. Et cetera. What about math? "If you know a bit about arithmetic, you know it's the numbers that matter, not the operations you perform on them." Or geography: "If you know a bit about geography, you know it's the states that matter, not the lakes." Ooh, or politics: "If you know a bit about politics, you know it's the executive branch that matters, not the legislative or judicial branches."
Mr. Johnson is a creationist who insists that Greek art proves the veracity of Biblical stories. He also rails against "name-calling" by those who accept the scientific validity of evolutionary theory. He dubs them "Slime-Snake-Monkey-People" and "mutant randomites."
Hangin' with the guys
I've mentioned that I don't understand a lot of advertisements. This ad for Viagra is a perfect example. I think it can be summed up as: "Hey guys, I'm so excited about my E.D. - let's jam!" One blogger has commented on it sufficiently that I don't feel I need to expand on it.
This one for Sunsilk shampoo, on the other hand, is hilarious - in a good way. I need that stuff.
This one for Sunsilk shampoo, on the other hand, is hilarious - in a good way. I need that stuff.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Win Ben Stein's Brain!
Based on his latest project, it must be floating around out there somewhere. I should check ebay. The movie purports to prove that some conspiracy of Darwinists is out to suppress the science of creationism. By interviewing scientists under false pretenses, the producers were able to collect statements that can be selected, spliced, and used out of context to "prove" their point.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
FAQ (updated)
This FAQ should clear up some of the burning questions you, my dear readers, have about the blog. As for that burning sensation in your crotch area, I can only suggest you see a medical professional. The FAQ will be updated as other important questions arise, so consider it a continuous work in progress.
Q: Why do you call yourself "lady with a hat"?
A: That's a good question, considering that I am neither a lady, nor a hat.
Q: How often will you post updates? Is it safe for me to ignore this blog for months at a time, or do I need to check daily for your scintillating insight into all manner of issues?
A: I expect that if you check back once a week or so, you'll do fine. I've found that during school it is difficult for me to keep up, and I can go for 2 or 3 weeks without posting anything, but then I'll post 12 entries in a single day, or some such. I suggest you use some random system, such as the roll of a die or the flip of a coin, as your guide in this matter.
Q: Is it hard to type with that cat on top of your hand?
A: No, surprisingly not. Sitting in this chair affords the cat a comfortable space lying across my wrist and pinning my hand down, but still allows free movement of the fingers necessary for typing.
Q: What sort of content can I expect?
A: Rants, raves, my (invariably correct) opinions. I might post an entry about what I had for lunch, followed immediately by a post about some news item of national import. You'll find I'm typically arrogant, often ill-informed, and consistently quick to judge. Simultaneously, if you can point out an error in my factual references, I'll graciously accept your outpointing. If you want to bitch about my reasoning or opinions, keep it short - I'm unlikely to engage in a flame war with a half-wit, so don't waste our time. If you don't like what you see, go read something else.
Q: Am I likely to be offended by this blog?
A: Very probably. Given how easy it is to offend people these days, and how enjoyable it iscanbe to do so, I expect to offend everybody, eventually.
Q: Is it safe to click your links from my workplace computer?
A: Most of the time, yes. If a link is clearly Not Safe For Work (NSFW) I will flag it. If it's a bit off-color or potentially creepy, I'll also point that out. Any links that lack qualifiers should be considered safe for mixed company of various ages.
Q: Why do you hate America?
A: Piss off.
Q: Jesus Christ, you sure like to rag on religion. Why can't you give it a rest? What did organized religion ever do to you?
A: Organized religion is arguably the most destructive force in the modern world. I do not deny that during the Middle Ages Holy Mother Church helped preserve historical records and such. I also do not deny that despite the cultural destruction wrought by missionaries, many religious organizations do a lot to help third-world populations. However! The modern world has no room for superstitious beliefs about a magic sky-man who watches what you do and can't wait for you to slip up so he can punish you. I'm not even going to go into the numerous examples of violence carried out in the name of one god or another. In the socio-cultural evolution of humanity, we need to now throw off these childish ideas and establish a new attitude toward morality. We need a system of ethics and morals based in our understanding of the inherent value of our humanity, not founded on ancient fictions. As for what organized religion has done to me: Plenty. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, growing up gay and Catholic really fucks with one's head. Seriously. And that shit needs to stop. Right now.
Q: How much school do you have left?
A: I plan to finish my degree in the Spring of 2008. Then I'll need to find a job to pay off the ridiculous amount of debt I've accrued over the past couple of years. If anyone wins a lottery, and wants to help me out, I'm not too proud to accept the offer.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: It varies. An artist, a cat, a dog, independently wealthy, or I don't plan to grow up.
Q: Wait - what are you going to school for? You must be going to art school, right? Cuz there are no schools I know of that give out degrees in independent wealthiness, or "dog" or "cat."
A: First of all, I'm currently working on a degree in Landscape Architecture. Secondly, that just shows what you know.
Q: Oh, so you can come and landscape my yard then, right?
A: Yes, I could. Like most people, you stopped listening after the word "Landscape." Congratulations. While a landscape architect could do much more than residential yards, I'm not going to waste time telling you about it, because for all I know you'll stop listening halfway through. You've probably stopped listening already. Also, you are a booger.
Q: Hey!
A: Huh. I guess you were listening after all.
Q: Why do you call yourself "lady with a hat"?
A: That's a good question, considering that I am neither a lady, nor a hat.
Q: How often will you post updates? Is it safe for me to ignore this blog for months at a time, or do I need to check daily for your scintillating insight into all manner of issues?
A: I expect that if you check back once a week or so, you'll do fine. I've found that during school it is difficult for me to keep up, and I can go for 2 or 3 weeks without posting anything, but then I'll post 12 entries in a single day, or some such. I suggest you use some random system, such as the roll of a die or the flip of a coin, as your guide in this matter.
Q: Is it hard to type with that cat on top of your hand?
A: No, surprisingly not. Sitting in this chair affords the cat a comfortable space lying across my wrist and pinning my hand down, but still allows free movement of the fingers necessary for typing.
Q: What sort of content can I expect?
A: Rants, raves, my (invariably correct) opinions. I might post an entry about what I had for lunch, followed immediately by a post about some news item of national import. You'll find I'm typically arrogant, often ill-informed, and consistently quick to judge. Simultaneously, if you can point out an error in my factual references, I'll graciously accept your outpointing. If you want to bitch about my reasoning or opinions, keep it short - I'm unlikely to engage in a flame war with a half-wit, so don't waste our time. If you don't like what you see, go read something else.
Q: Am I likely to be offended by this blog?
A: Very probably. Given how easy it is to offend people these days, and how enjoyable it iscanbe to do so, I expect to offend everybody, eventually.
Q: Is it safe to click your links from my workplace computer?
A: Most of the time, yes. If a link is clearly Not Safe For Work (NSFW) I will flag it. If it's a bit off-color or potentially creepy, I'll also point that out. Any links that lack qualifiers should be considered safe for mixed company of various ages.
Q: Why do you hate America?
A: Piss off.
Q: Jesus Christ, you sure like to rag on religion. Why can't you give it a rest? What did organized religion ever do to you?
A: Organized religion is arguably the most destructive force in the modern world. I do not deny that during the Middle Ages Holy Mother Church helped preserve historical records and such. I also do not deny that despite the cultural destruction wrought by missionaries, many religious organizations do a lot to help third-world populations. However! The modern world has no room for superstitious beliefs about a magic sky-man who watches what you do and can't wait for you to slip up so he can punish you. I'm not even going to go into the numerous examples of violence carried out in the name of one god or another. In the socio-cultural evolution of humanity, we need to now throw off these childish ideas and establish a new attitude toward morality. We need a system of ethics and morals based in our understanding of the inherent value of our humanity, not founded on ancient fictions. As for what organized religion has done to me: Plenty. I'll spare you the details, but suffice it to say, growing up gay and Catholic really fucks with one's head. Seriously. And that shit needs to stop. Right now.
Q: How much school do you have left?
A: I plan to finish my degree in the Spring of 2008. Then I'll need to find a job to pay off the ridiculous amount of debt I've accrued over the past couple of years. If anyone wins a lottery, and wants to help me out, I'm not too proud to accept the offer.
Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: It varies. An artist, a cat, a dog, independently wealthy, or I don't plan to grow up.
Q: Wait - what are you going to school for? You must be going to art school, right? Cuz there are no schools I know of that give out degrees in independent wealthiness, or "dog" or "cat."
A: First of all, I'm currently working on a degree in Landscape Architecture. Secondly, that just shows what you know.
Q: Oh, so you can come and landscape my yard then, right?
A: Yes, I could. Like most people, you stopped listening after the word "Landscape." Congratulations. While a landscape architect could do much more than residential yards, I'm not going to waste time telling you about it, because for all I know you'll stop listening halfway through. You've probably stopped listening already. Also, you are a booger.
Q: Hey!
A: Huh. I guess you were listening after all.
Mystery meat navigation
You might be familiar with the site Web Pages That Suck. It was put together by webguy Vincent Flanders shortly after the web became world-wide, and his goal is to encourage good website design by highlighting bad website design. One pervasive offense in web design is called mystery meat navigation (MMN).
[Sidebar: If the site is run by Vincent Flanders, can't he just tell us what MMN is? Why the pretense of "Wikipedia says..."? I don't walk around saying, "According to a predefined subset of the population, I like dogs," when I can just say, "I like dogs." It seems like unnecessary horn-tooting. It also seems like the kind of thing one might read about on Language Log....]
Every once in a while, as I blunder around the internet, I stumble across wonderful examples of MMN. This site is the "best" example I've seen in a long time. See that 3x6 block of fleurs-de-lis? Those are links. Where do they go? Who knows! They might point to a recipe for brownies, or to a government anti-drug site, or a wikipedia entry for Cody Rhodes. Or, most of them might point to the page itself (Hint: they do).
[Sidebar: If the site is run by Vincent Flanders, can't he just tell us what MMN is? Why the pretense of "Wikipedia says..."? I don't walk around saying, "According to a predefined subset of the population, I like dogs," when I can just say, "I like dogs." It seems like unnecessary horn-tooting. It also seems like the kind of thing one might read about on Language Log....]
Every once in a while, as I blunder around the internet, I stumble across wonderful examples of MMN. This site is the "best" example I've seen in a long time. See that 3x6 block of fleurs-de-lis? Those are links. Where do they go? Who knows! They might point to a recipe for brownies, or to a government anti-drug site, or a wikipedia entry for Cody Rhodes. Or, most of them might point to the page itself (Hint: they do).
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Values = Christianity?
Our cable company has reorganized our lineup, and added a few channels too: a couple PBS specialty channels, the "Reelz Channel," a couple more sports channels, and 9 new jeebus channels. We now have 12 channels making up the "Faith & Values View" (Channels 180-190, 329). We now have: EWTN (the "Global Catholic Network"), Inspiration Network, Inspirational Life (aka "iLife"), Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN), The Church Channel (all church, all the time) JCTV, Smile of a Child, Daystar (generic Christian), Family Net (for Southern Baptists, who must be the only people who have families), 3 Angels Network, BYU TV (for the Mormons), Gospel Music Channel (like MTV, but for jeebus-freaks).
So, it looks like "Faith & Values" means "Christianity". It apparently doesn't encompass other religious/spiritual or ethical belief systems. Do we really need 12 freaking channels of this crap? Oh, did I mention that EWTN, TBN, and Inspirational Network are also shown on channels 24, 25, and 27, respectively? Is it okay if I ask why?
So, it looks like "Faith & Values" means "Christianity". It apparently doesn't encompass other religious/spiritual or ethical belief systems. Do we really need 12 freaking channels of this crap? Oh, did I mention that EWTN, TBN, and Inspirational Network are also shown on channels 24, 25, and 27, respectively? Is it okay if I ask why?
Oh noes! My windows has infection!
I just saw an ad for Windex(R) Antibacterial - "Kills 99.9% of bacteria something something." You know, so your windows don't catch TB or Salmonella.
I can has explanation?
From Language Log, we learn about this memo from the Walt Bettinger, President and COO of Charles Schwab:
Read Geoffrey K. Pullam's reaction and (and explanation) here.
On August 16, you may have experienced difficulty accessing Schwab online or through our phone centers as a result of our systems slowdown. We want to apologize and let you know what happened.
In the process of expanding system capacity earlier that morning, a systems slowdown occurred. As a result, if you tried to access Schwab online or via the phone, you may have experienced slower-than-normal service, or in some cases, may have been unable to access our services at all.
Read Geoffrey K. Pullam's reaction and (and explanation) here.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Phone home
Today we dumped Sprint and switched our phone service to Verizon (but our numbers haven't changed, fortunately). We've got 30 days to decide if we like the service (though I really don't know who we'd switch to if we didn't) and the phones. After spending several minutes transferring my numbers, I don't know how I feel about the keypad, but I imagine I'll get used to it. I'm not interested in spending a lot of money on a phone, and I don't need much (at least not right now - eventually it would be nice to cram everything - phone, internets/email, palmtop computer/PDA, camera, video recorder, music/dvd player, time machine, hope chest, meds dispenser, etc etc etc - into a single portable package). The camera is a nice bonus, but wasn't vital - of course, try finding a phone without a camera in it, and good luck to ya.
I was kind of excited about the new hardware, but I feel a little let down, for some reason. I imagine if we'd gone in for the whole phone/text/picture/web/music thing, and the requisite equipment, I'd be spending the next few days like a giddy kid in some kind of store. But like I said - why would I need that?
I was kind of excited about the new hardware, but I feel a little let down, for some reason. I imagine if we'd gone in for the whole phone/text/picture/web/music thing, and the requisite equipment, I'd be spending the next few days like a giddy kid in some kind of store. But like I said - why would I need that?
Another week (or so), another poll
Results of most recent poll:
Q: Complete this sentence: "I was unable to find my keys...
A:
-- in time to prevent Armageddon." 0/5 (0%)
-- , you know, the ones on the Hello Kitty(TM) keychain." 1/5 (20%)
-- among the various and sundries in my purse." 1/5 (20%)
-- , Jennifer." 1/5 (20%)
-- because the bats had hidden them so well." 0/5 (0%)
-- , and as a result I had no choice but to smash this priceless Art Deco stained glass window." 0/5 (0%)
-- ." 1/5 (20%)
-- , but if we're lucky, Shamu has a spare set." 1/5 (20%)
Total: 5/5 (100%)
New poll will be up shortly.
Q: Complete this sentence: "I was unable to find my keys...
A:
-- in time to prevent Armageddon." 0/5 (0%)
-- , you know, the ones on the Hello Kitty(TM) keychain." 1/5 (20%)
-- among the various and sundries in my purse." 1/5 (20%)
-- , Jennifer." 1/5 (20%)
-- because the bats had hidden them so well." 0/5 (0%)
-- , and as a result I had no choice but to smash this priceless Art Deco stained glass window." 0/5 (0%)
-- ." 1/5 (20%)
-- , but if we're lucky, Shamu has a spare set." 1/5 (20%)
Total: 5/5 (100%)
New poll will be up shortly.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Marketing efforts that make me less likely to buy stuff
Is it just me, or have advertisements gotten more bizarre lately? Why would I buy Sour Skittles after watching that?
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Whodunnit? And more importantly, why?
Browsing the TV is a bad idea. I just stumbled across a "reality" show on Spike TV. It's called Murder, and one site describes it this way: "Each one-hour episode of Murder will give two groups of civilians the chance to solve a real-life homicide by working at an exact replica of a crime scene." Civilians include people like firefighters, teachers, business dudes, and "Tank, Law Student and Former Gang Member."
They include graphic "actual photos" flashed on the screen at intervals following no discernible pattern. Yay! Episodes have catchy titles like "The Bludgeoning." And your host, Detective Tommy Le Noir (seriously).
Why would they do this? Who comes up with these ideas?
They include graphic "actual photos" flashed on the screen at intervals following no discernible pattern. Yay! Episodes have catchy titles like "The Bludgeoning." And your host, Detective Tommy Le Noir (seriously).
Why would they do this? Who comes up with these ideas?
Friday, August 17, 2007
I'm in love
Okay, I know I need to get this coursework finished for the summer, but I have to tell both of my readers about this: I'm in love with Linden Hills. Really. This place has everything. If I could afford it, I would pay $1200 a month to live in a 600 sq ft studio apartment in this neighborhood (and I'd probably have to - the one downside is that this is an affluent, mostly white neighborhood; efforts to revive poor neighborhoods often result in gentrification, which looks similar).
They have everything. Employment, shopping, housing, green space, historic buildings, multimodal transit....
They're right on Lake Harriet (on the left side of this pic, taken from linden-hills.com).
It's what New Urbanists wish they could achieve, but it's been there for over 60 years. (And time is a crucial element here, so maybe some NU neighborhoods will eventually be like it.)
The commercial hub at 43rd St W and Upton Ave S makes the 50th and France retail node in Edina look like a turd wrapped in burnt hair. (And don't even get me started on those suburban shitholes like Arbor Fakes.)
They have everything. Employment, shopping, housing, green space, historic buildings, multimodal transit....
They're right on Lake Harriet (on the left side of this pic, taken from linden-hills.com).
It's what New Urbanists wish they could achieve, but it's been there for over 60 years. (And time is a crucial element here, so maybe some NU neighborhoods will eventually be like it.)
The commercial hub at 43rd St W and Upton Ave S makes the 50th and France retail node in Edina look like a turd wrapped in burnt hair. (And don't even get me started on those suburban shitholes like Arbor Fakes.)
Thursday, August 16, 2007
If I were Jewish, I'd be waiting for a call from the Egyptians
Remember this spring, when I apologized to my Jewish classmate for the Holocaust? (I have German ancestry from mater and pater, though my progenitors were in the U.S. during WWII. But hey, these days, you can't be too careful, right?) In another pointless, idiotic gesture, the Danes have apologized for the Viking invasion of Ireland (thanks to Mary for pointing this out). For those of you who can't remember your high school world history class, this event happened over 1000 years ago. Yes, that is the right number of zeros. No, this story was not reported in The Onion. (I wonder if they'll apologize for those blasphemous cartoons of that religious guy...or did they do that already?)
Other apologies I'm looking forward to hearing:
-- The South, for slavery - Oops! That's happened several times.
-- Napoleon, for invading Russia.
-- The British Royal family, for (a) inbreeding; (b) Prince Charles's ears; and (c) the Revolutionary War.
-- Bigfoot, Nessie, and El Chupacabra, for not existing.
-- Corporate bigwigs, for being greedy bastards.
-- India, for slamming into the Asian continent and creating the Himalayas.
-- God, for hating fags.
-- That asteroid, for killing off the dinosaurs.
-- Powerball, for me not winning the jackpot last night.
-- Bush/Cheney, for -- ahh, forget it. I should keep this realistic.
Other apologies I'm looking forward to hearing:
-- The South, for slavery - Oops! That's happened several times.
-- Napoleon, for invading Russia.
-- The British Royal family, for (a) inbreeding; (b) Prince Charles's ears; and (c) the Revolutionary War.
-- Bigfoot, Nessie, and El Chupacabra, for not existing.
-- Corporate bigwigs, for being greedy bastards.
-- India, for slamming into the Asian continent and creating the Himalayas.
-- God, for hating fags.
-- That asteroid, for killing off the dinosaurs.
-- Powerball, for me not winning the jackpot last night.
-- Bush/Cheney, for -- ahh, forget it. I should keep this realistic.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
How to not get melanoma
An article at Slate discusses tanning, focusing primarily on recent research about whether or not UV light is addictive.
Near the bottom of the first page, they have a section titled 2) Does sunscreen protect against melanoma? The short answer looks to be "No*." But pay attention to this statement:
So all I have to do to avoid melanoma is not subscribe? How hard can that be? Are there any other health risks that I could cancel my subscription to? Is there a toll-free number for this stuff? What about good health? Can I subscribe to that too? (I'll take the 3% body fat, the 6-pack abs, and the highest metabolism you've got. Could I also see the Joints menu? I'm thinking about new knees.)
*It may, in fact, increase your risk of developing melanoma, because until recently, most sunscreens only blocked UVB, not UVA. Some researchers wonder if UVA is the (primary) electromagnetic cause of melanoma, and so blocking UVB did no good against it - and in fact, by preventing sunburn and creating a false sense of security, encouraged people to stay out longer, absorbing even more UVA. That's one hypothesis, at least.
Coming soon: How to not get megalomania!
Near the bottom of the first page, they have a section titled 2) Does sunscreen protect against melanoma? The short answer looks to be "No*." But pay attention to this statement:
the findings don't hold true for melanoma (subscription required)
So all I have to do to avoid melanoma is not subscribe? How hard can that be? Are there any other health risks that I could cancel my subscription to? Is there a toll-free number for this stuff? What about good health? Can I subscribe to that too? (I'll take the 3% body fat, the 6-pack abs, and the highest metabolism you've got. Could I also see the Joints menu? I'm thinking about new knees.)
*It may, in fact, increase your risk of developing melanoma, because until recently, most sunscreens only blocked UVB, not UVA. Some researchers wonder if UVA is the (primary) electromagnetic cause of melanoma, and so blocking UVB did no good against it - and in fact, by preventing sunburn and creating a false sense of security, encouraged people to stay out longer, absorbing even more UVA. That's one hypothesis, at least.
Coming soon: How to not get megalomania!
Comics roundup
Get Fuzzy is great.
-- Bucky (the cat) expresses something I've long believed but have lacked the ability to articulate.
-- Political jokes.
Cat and Girl is often hilarious.
-- This is why I buy Powerball tickets once in a while.
-- Oscar Wilde, updated for the Spring Break set.
Dinosaur Comics should never be missed. Don't forget to mouse-over the image for an extra fun message. (If it trails off in ellipses, you'll need to right-click and select Properties to see the whole thing - it's worth it.)
-- Etymology: The best story wins.
-- T-Rex is a Web Architect.
-- T-Rex gets kinky.
-- Bucky (the cat) expresses something I've long believed but have lacked the ability to articulate.
-- Political jokes.
Cat and Girl is often hilarious.
-- This is why I buy Powerball tickets once in a while.
-- Oscar Wilde, updated for the Spring Break set.
Dinosaur Comics should never be missed. Don't forget to mouse-over the image for an extra fun message. (If it trails off in ellipses, you'll need to right-click and select Properties to see the whole thing - it's worth it.)
-- Etymology: The best story wins.
-- T-Rex is a Web Architect.
-- T-Rex gets kinky.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Ignorance was bliss
Down in Rochester, we've had quite a few pretty strong storms come through this summer. We have a huge (about 48" diameter at breast height (DBH)) silver maple next to our house, and need to get a couple of low branches off so they don't crush our house (or the neighbor's), but we want to wait till winter so it'll cost about $800 instead of $1500+. The tree's healthy, so likely if we got a storm strong enough to tear off its branches, we'd have other problems too, but now every time a strong storm comes through I get paranoid. My main concern is that since it's a fast-growing tree, the wood is softer and a bit weaker than, say, a typical oak of comparable size. Realistically, the tree's been there for years, and nothing's happened yet - it should be find for another 4 months, right?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Spam and pinochle and cheesecake, oh my!
Over the weekend Ben and I went up to see Spamalot with Ben's dad. We drove up and met him for dinner at the Great Waters Brewing Company, and then walked over to the Ordway for the show.
==== SPOILER WARNING (highlight to view) ====
I enjoyed the show. The multi-media nature of it was intriguing, and some dialog was taken verbatim from the film. I felt that a lot of that was not delivered as well as in the original, although the French Taunter scene was very well executed. The bit at the end where Lancelot marries Prince Herbert - and says, "You know, in a thousand years, this will still be controversial" was a hoot.
==== END SPOILERS ====
The costumes and the set were really well done, and Esther Stillwell, who played The Lady of the Lake, did a great job.
We spent Saturday with Ben's folks, and his mom prepared some great meals for us. Thanks, Kathy! (Thathy) We also played a couple games of pinochle, which was fun.
On Sunday we went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Kathy had never eaten there (though she had gotten cheesecake from them in the past). My first impression, upon opening the menu, was that they must be really struggling, financially. About 45% of the menu consisted of ads for everything from purses to jeans to American Express to Carnival Cruise lines. I wondered if I could order those things as well, but decided against asking our waitress (she seemed like the type who wouldn't see the humor in it, even if she did understand the point I was trying to make - which is also unlikely). I think my favorite was the ad for a website where I could look at the ads again, when I got home. The top of the page exhorted the diner "Enjoy our ads again!" - because they were so enthralling the first time around. The next remarkable thing about the restaurant is that about 80% of their entrees are "specialties." Really? That seems a bit ... ridiculous.
Nonetheless, the meal was good, and of course we also got dessert - I ordered a piece of cheesecake, and I believe Ben had one of their "specialty" desserts (not the cheesecake, which was odd, I thought, given the name of the restaurant - but I don't really know much about marketing in the restaurant biz) - it was a chocolate cake. Not a piece of chocolate cake, but an entire cake - at least, it took up the same amount of space. My greatest criticism, I think, is of the prices. Given that almost half of their menu is sold to advertisers, I would have expected the prices to be a bit lower.
==== SPOILER WARNING (highlight to view) ====
I enjoyed the show. The multi-media nature of it was intriguing, and some dialog was taken verbatim from the film. I felt that a lot of that was not delivered as well as in the original, although the French Taunter scene was very well executed. The bit at the end where Lancelot marries Prince Herbert - and says, "You know, in a thousand years, this will still be controversial" was a hoot.
==== END SPOILERS ====
The costumes and the set were really well done, and Esther Stillwell, who played The Lady of the Lake, did a great job.
We spent Saturday with Ben's folks, and his mom prepared some great meals for us. Thanks, Kathy! (Thathy) We also played a couple games of pinochle, which was fun.
On Sunday we went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Kathy had never eaten there (though she had gotten cheesecake from them in the past). My first impression, upon opening the menu, was that they must be really struggling, financially. About 45% of the menu consisted of ads for everything from purses to jeans to American Express to Carnival Cruise lines. I wondered if I could order those things as well, but decided against asking our waitress (she seemed like the type who wouldn't see the humor in it, even if she did understand the point I was trying to make - which is also unlikely). I think my favorite was the ad for a website where I could look at the ads again, when I got home. The top of the page exhorted the diner "Enjoy our ads again!" - because they were so enthralling the first time around. The next remarkable thing about the restaurant is that about 80% of their entrees are "specialties." Really? That seems a bit ... ridiculous.
Nonetheless, the meal was good, and of course we also got dessert - I ordered a piece of cheesecake, and I believe Ben had one of their "specialty" desserts (not the cheesecake, which was odd, I thought, given the name of the restaurant - but I don't really know much about marketing in the restaurant biz) - it was a chocolate cake. Not a piece of chocolate cake, but an entire cake - at least, it took up the same amount of space. My greatest criticism, I think, is of the prices. Given that almost half of their menu is sold to advertisers, I would have expected the prices to be a bit lower.
I was out of town over the weekend, so of course...
I lost a crown (the dental kind). The tooth in question had been slightly pressure- and cold- sensitive recently, probably because the adhesive was deteriorating. Now every time I inhale abruptly, the flow of air over the little stub of tooth on which the crown once rested causes me a fair degree of discomfort.
Why does this (dental) stuff always happen (a) when I'm out of town and (b) on weekends? My last tooth issue was the temporary crown that came off during my field trip to New York this spring. Prior to that, I had a molar that was rotting out of my head when I was on a 4-day field trip to Door County in Wisconsin. WTF?
I wonder if maybe I ought to find a new dentist.
Why does this (dental) stuff always happen (a) when I'm out of town and (b) on weekends? My last tooth issue was the temporary crown that came off during my field trip to New York this spring. Prior to that, I had a molar that was rotting out of my head when I was on a 4-day field trip to Door County in Wisconsin. WTF?
I wonder if maybe I ought to find a new dentist.
Poll results
Latest poll results:
Q: Which of these pets do you have?
A:
...Dog 2/5 (40%)
...Cat 5/5 (100%)
...Other Mammal 0/5 (0%)
...Avian 0/5 (0%)
...Reptile or Amphibian 2/5 (40%)
...Ichthyoids 0/5 (0%)
...Other 0/5 (0%)
Totals: 9/5 (180%)
New poll up shortly...
Q: Which of these pets do you have?
A:
...Dog 2/5 (40%)
...Cat 5/5 (100%)
...Other Mammal 0/5 (0%)
...Avian 0/5 (0%)
...Reptile or Amphibian 2/5 (40%)
...Ichthyoids 0/5 (0%)
...Other 0/5 (0%)
Totals: 9/5 (180%)
New poll up shortly...
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Time-travel in a gel
I just saw this ad for some sort of gel or cream or something. (Of course, I haven't seen it in the two hours since....) Anyway, it said something like, "What if there was a way to fight the cause of aging, not just the symptoms." And I thought, "Wait - the cause of aging is the passage of time. So they can alter that?"
You'd think there would have been something in the news. Also, isn't this kind of a frivolous application?
You'd think there would have been something in the news. Also, isn't this kind of a frivolous application?
Friday, August 10, 2007
They found what now?
I've had MPR on the radio most of the day, and they keep mentioning that divers have found more remains at the site of last week's bridge collapse. And every time they start saying it, I start to think, "Wait, is this more bodies, or the same ones they talked about an hour ago?" I imagine that watching Headline News would generate that same feeling, but on a much shorter cycle.... like, 10 minutes or so.
Why are people so dumb?
I guess I need to save up my rants about a particular thing (a radio programme or whatever) and then post them all at once.
Some guy called in and said something to the effect of: "Why are you spending $5 million dollars on Raspberry Park? Where are your priorities?"
To his credit, Mayor Coleman answered the question(s) correctly. The gist of his response was that you need to build the whole city, including the amenities that make it a more desirable place to live. A city is more than just a collection of individual components - its residents, physical infrastructure, schools, commerce and shopping, industry, parks, and so on. It's a real example of synergy between multiple elements to create something greater.
Some guy called in and said something to the effect of: "Why are you spending $5 million dollars on Raspberry Park? Where are your priorities?"
To his credit, Mayor Coleman answered the question(s) correctly. The gist of his response was that you need to build the whole city, including the amenities that make it a more desirable place to live. A city is more than just a collection of individual components - its residents, physical infrastructure, schools, commerce and shopping, industry, parks, and so on. It's a real example of synergy between multiple elements to create something greater.
What's in it for ME?
They're talking to the mayor of St. Paul on MPR about this whole bridge thing, and one big issue is how infrastructure is/shouldbe funded. At least two non-metro residents called in and asked questions like, "Why should our tax money be used to keep the Twin Cities running? We have problems here too."
All I could think was, "If that's the way you'd like it, let's set things up for you. We'll eliminate all state-level funding, and each county or municipality will have to look out for itself. You guys handle your own schools, and roads, and everything, and we'll take care of ours. Good luck!"
EDIT (8/13): I've since found out that the specific topic of conversation for that hour was the St. Paul budget; the bridge collapse entered the discussion by way of the "money for infrastructure" angle.
All I could think was, "If that's the way you'd like it, let's set things up for you. We'll eliminate all state-level funding, and each county or municipality will have to look out for itself. You guys handle your own schools, and roads, and everything, and we'll take care of ours. Good luck!"
EDIT (8/13): I've since found out that the specific topic of conversation for that hour was the St. Paul budget; the bridge collapse entered the discussion by way of the "money for infrastructure" angle.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Are you psychotic?
What the crap?
I caught this show on the Sci Fi channel (no, not their new Flash Gordon series). It's called Mind Control with Derren Brown - he's a British guy, looks to be about my age, and he does "psychological magic" where he gives the impression of psychic power and/or mind control, but without pretending to be psychic. He doesn't explain all the tricks - no good magician does - but his show's website does reveal some of the psychology behind them.
On tonight's show, he has a psychologist do "word dissociation" with him. He says a word, and the shrink is supposed to say a word that has nothing to do with the original word. But, before he says the "source" word, he writes a different word on a piece of paper (outside the sight of the shrink, who takes residence on his own couch). They go for five rounds.
Round 1: He writes orange, he says suit, shrink says apple.
Round 2: He writes trash, he says picture, shrink says horse.
Round 3: He writes water-ski, he says eating, shrink says water-ski.
Round 4: He writes school, he says tie, shrink says school.
Round 5: He writes buffalo, he says [nothing], shrink says buffalo.
No clue how he pulled that off.... unless he really is psychic, and is just pretending to not be! That would be a brilliant scam.
I caught this show on the Sci Fi channel (no, not their new Flash Gordon series). It's called Mind Control with Derren Brown - he's a British guy, looks to be about my age, and he does "psychological magic" where he gives the impression of psychic power and/or mind control, but without pretending to be psychic. He doesn't explain all the tricks - no good magician does - but his show's website does reveal some of the psychology behind them.
On tonight's show, he has a psychologist do "word dissociation" with him. He says a word, and the shrink is supposed to say a word that has nothing to do with the original word. But, before he says the "source" word, he writes a different word on a piece of paper (outside the sight of the shrink, who takes residence on his own couch). They go for five rounds.
Round 1: He writes orange, he says suit, shrink says apple.
Round 2: He writes trash, he says picture, shrink says horse.
Round 3: He writes water-ski, he says eating, shrink says water-ski.
Round 4: He writes school, he says tie, shrink says school.
Round 5: He writes buffalo, he says [nothing], shrink says buffalo.
No clue how he pulled that off.... unless he really is psychic, and is just pretending to not be! That would be a brilliant scam.
Rabid anti-gay Republican turns out to be jizz-hungry cock-sucker
Let's see - we've had Ted Haggard, Mark Foley, ... wasn't there some "ex-gay" guy who "relapsed" a few years ago? Bob Allen, a state Representative in Florida, was busted by an undercover cop.
His explanation is priceless. To paraphrase: "There were a lot of scary black guys in the park, and he would to anything to get away from them."
This comment made me wet myself a little.
His explanation is priceless. To paraphrase: "There were a lot of scary black guys in the park, and he would to anything to get away from them."
This comment made me wet myself a little.
In the news
I went to the City Pages web site to search for an article about the Heritage Park housing project northwest of downtown Minneapolis. On their front page, I saw that yesterday's Morning Communiqué notes "a recent study links diet soft drinks with obesity." We learn that researchers were surprised at the "unexpected" finding that drinkers of diet soda have health risks similar to those of their sugar-guzzling compatriots. (I thought scientists were supposed be smart. I guess this is where we differentiate between "book larnin' and "common sense." Maybe they just lack imagination?)
The other neat thing I found was "Playing the popular Chinese tile game mahjong can lead to seizures, Hong Kong researchers say, calling the phenomenon 'mahjong epilepsy.'" Video gamers are vindicated!
Then there's: "Judy Hagan caused a stir among plot owners in the Uniontown (IN) City Cemetery when she put up a tombstone for her and her departed rat terrier, Shithead."
And, finally: "A man named Johnson underoges a vasectomy in exchange for getting permission from his wife to purchase an iPhone."
The results may simply signal that the diet-soda drinkers in the study were less healthy to start with [Really? You mean diet soda doesn't instantly cure what ails ya? But I've been chugging "Uncle Coke's Diet Tonic and Elixir" for years! Rats!], and they had turned to sugar-free beverages to help with weight loss or because they had diabetes. The study investigators, who oversee the respected Framingham Heart Study in Massachusetts, noted also that the type of person who drinks diet soda may be more likely to eat less-healthful foods [DUH, anyone?]. But they also cited research suggesting that artificially sweetened beverages may affect a person's satiety or cravings for sweets.
The other neat thing I found was "Playing the popular Chinese tile game mahjong can lead to seizures, Hong Kong researchers say, calling the phenomenon 'mahjong epilepsy.'" Video gamers are vindicated!
Then there's: "Judy Hagan caused a stir among plot owners in the Uniontown (IN) City Cemetery when she put up a tombstone for her and her departed rat terrier, Shithead."
And, finally: "A man named Johnson underoges a vasectomy in exchange for getting permission from his wife to purchase an iPhone."
The poll is dead! Long live the poll!
Previous poll results:
Q: Did a god or gods save some people from the I-35W bridge collapse? Why or why not?
A:
....Yes, because he/she/they care(s) about those people more than the ones injured or killed: 0/20 (0%)
....Yes, because he/she/they work(s) in "mysterious ways" or is/are "testing our faith": 1/20 (5%)
....No, because the bridge was not intelligently designed: 2/20 (10%)
....No, because he/she/they is/are (a) bastard(s): 1/20 (5%)
....No, because he/she/they does/do not take part in worldly events: 9/20 (45%)
....No, because he/she/they does/do not exist: 7/20 (35%)
Totals: 20/20 (100%)
Don't fail to vote in the new poll!
Q: Did a god or gods save some people from the I-35W bridge collapse? Why or why not?
A:
....Yes, because he/she/they care(s) about those people more than the ones injured or killed: 0/20 (0%)
....Yes, because he/she/they work(s) in "mysterious ways" or is/are "testing our faith": 1/20 (5%)
....No, because the bridge was not intelligently designed: 2/20 (10%)
....No, because he/she/they is/are (a) bastard(s): 1/20 (5%)
....No, because he/she/they does/do not take part in worldly events: 9/20 (45%)
....No, because he/she/they does/do not exist: 7/20 (35%)
Totals: 20/20 (100%)
Don't fail to vote in the new poll!
Who's yer candidate?
Select your stance on a variety of issues, and find out which presidential candidate best matches your views.
My top 5:
Kucinich (60 pts) (more)
Gravel (46 pts) (more) (I don't even know who this is!?)
Obama (38 pts) (more)
Clinton (36 pts) (more)
Edwards (32 pts) (more)
It's too bad they don't list all these third-party candidates too.
My top 5:
Kucinich (60 pts) (more)
Gravel (46 pts) (more) (I don't even know who this is!?)
Obama (38 pts) (more)
Clinton (36 pts) (more)
Edwards (32 pts) (more)
It's too bad they don't list all these third-party candidates too.
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Hyphenation? Yes, please!
If you were writing a longish paper (say 14 pages) in Microsoft Word(TM), and wanted to automatically hyphenate the whole document so that the right-hand side of the text would look less ragged, how would you do it?
Would you look under Edit? Hmmm, nothing there looks promising. No, probably Format, since that's what I'm doing - I'm trying to format the appearance of the document. Let's see... no Hyphenation item there, but let's try Paragraph. That would make sense - I mean, that's where I'd go to determine line justification, line spacing, indentation, and so forth. Hmm. Gee, I don't see anything here about hyphenation.
Hrmph. What about Tools? Let's see here.... Spelling and Grammar, Research, Language, ... Track Changes, Protect Document, Online Collaboration, ... Macros, ... Customize, Options. Well, let's try those last two, just for shits.
Customize... Toolbars, Commands, Options - yeah, these are for customizing the interface, not for working with the document. What about Options (from the Tools menu, not from the Customize dialog box).... Oh my! All these tabs! Let's see... we've got View, General, Edit, Print, Save, ... Compatibility, Spelling and Grammar... Yeah, this is no good. It's just more interface customization options.
Hey - maybe Page Setup... (humming tunelessly to self) File > Page Setup. We've got Margins, Paper, Layout. Let's see... I can turn the paper sideways, but that's not what I'm looking for -- ooh! I wonder how many pages I'd end up with that way? Still 14. Boooooring. Okay, let's look at this again. Headers and footers... nope, that's taken care of.
Well dammit, now I'm going to have to use the "Help."
(doo-de-doo....) <F1>, Search for hyphenation. .... (It's searching Microsoft Office Online - this'll take a minute).... (humming Taking Care of Business) Did you hear we're in a flood watch toni---- oh there it is. We've got "About Hyphenation," "Insert a nonbreaking hyphen" (I wonder if there should be one in "nonbreaking"?), ... Here we go: "Hyphenate text."
Huh - I can "Automatically hyphenate all of a document" or "Automatically hyphenate part of a document." I'd like "all," please.
(Mouthing words while reading text, muttering softly)... Tools menu... Language - What? I was just there! Okay, what next? Tools > Language > Hyphenation. Select Automatically hyphenate document. Well, there we go. Ooh, I can Limit the number of consecutive hyphens, set the "Hyphenation zone" ... I wonder if that's like that danger zone? ... I can even Hyphenate words in CAPS! That's silly. Why would a word be wearing a cap?
Well, that's taken care of then. Although I don't understand why Hyphenation is Language (hanging out with Set Language, Translate, and Thesaurus (thundering across the Jurassic plain...)).
Wait, I didn't see anything in there about hyphenating part of a document.... Let's see what the "Help" says about that.
(Mumbling) Select the text you don't want to -- wait. The first step under "Automatically hyphenate part of a document" is "Select the text you don't want to hyphenate"? This is getting more confusing by the minute. Okay, select the text... then Format > Paragraph > Line and Page Breaks... oh, there's a check box for Don't hyphenate. Well, THAT makes a lot of sense. I have to tell it to automatically hyphenate the whole document, and then I not hyphenate the rest of the document, then the part of the document that I want to hyphenate will be hyphenated.
Dammit, now I need a drink.
Would you look under Edit? Hmmm, nothing there looks promising. No, probably Format, since that's what I'm doing - I'm trying to format the appearance of the document. Let's see... no Hyphenation item there, but let's try Paragraph. That would make sense - I mean, that's where I'd go to determine line justification, line spacing, indentation, and so forth. Hmm. Gee, I don't see anything here about hyphenation.
Hrmph. What about Tools? Let's see here.... Spelling and Grammar, Research, Language, ... Track Changes, Protect Document, Online Collaboration, ... Macros, ... Customize, Options. Well, let's try those last two, just for shits.
Customize... Toolbars, Commands, Options - yeah, these are for customizing the interface, not for working with the document. What about Options (from the Tools menu, not from the Customize dialog box).... Oh my! All these tabs! Let's see... we've got View, General, Edit, Print, Save, ... Compatibility, Spelling and Grammar... Yeah, this is no good. It's just more interface customization options.
Hey - maybe Page Setup... (humming tunelessly to self) File > Page Setup. We've got Margins, Paper, Layout. Let's see... I can turn the paper sideways, but that's not what I'm looking for -- ooh! I wonder how many pages I'd end up with that way? Still 14. Boooooring. Okay, let's look at this again. Headers and footers... nope, that's taken care of.
Well dammit, now I'm going to have to use the "Help."
(doo-de-doo....) <F1>, Search for hyphenation. .... (It's searching Microsoft Office Online - this'll take a minute).... (humming Taking Care of Business) Did you hear we're in a flood watch toni---- oh there it is. We've got "About Hyphenation," "Insert a nonbreaking hyphen" (I wonder if there should be one in "nonbreaking"?), ... Here we go: "Hyphenate text."
Huh - I can "Automatically hyphenate all of a document" or "Automatically hyphenate part of a document." I'd like "all," please.
(Mouthing words while reading text, muttering softly)... Tools menu... Language - What? I was just there! Okay, what next? Tools > Language > Hyphenation. Select Automatically hyphenate document. Well, there we go. Ooh, I can Limit the number of consecutive hyphens, set the "Hyphenation zone" ... I wonder if that's like that danger zone? ... I can even Hyphenate words in CAPS! That's silly. Why would a word be wearing a cap?
Well, that's taken care of then. Although I don't understand why Hyphenation is Language (hanging out with Set Language, Translate, and Thesaurus (thundering across the Jurassic plain...)).
Wait, I didn't see anything in there about hyphenating part of a document.... Let's see what the "Help" says about that.
(Mumbling) Select the text you don't want to -- wait. The first step under "Automatically hyphenate part of a document" is "Select the text you don't want to hyphenate"? This is getting more confusing by the minute. Okay, select the text... then Format > Paragraph > Line and Page Breaks... oh, there's a check box for Don't hyphenate. Well, THAT makes a lot of sense. I have to tell it to automatically hyphenate the whole document, and then I not hyphenate the rest of the document, then the part of the document that I want to hyphenate will be hyphenated.
Dammit, now I need a drink.
Error message
From Microsoft Excel(TM):
No such problem with Microsoft Word(TM).
Should I be confused, or just assume that this is Microsoft Standard Asshattery?
A document with the name 'Book1.xls' is already open. You cannot open two documents with the same name, even if the documents are in different folders. To open a second document, either close the document that's currently open, or rename one of the documents.
No such problem with Microsoft Word(TM).
Should I be confused, or just assume that this is Microsoft Standard Asshattery?
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Hyperparenting gone awry
From Slate:
A study suggests "Baby Einstein" and other baby videos are bad for kids. Findings: 1) "32% of the babies were shown the videos, and 17% of those were shown them for more than an hour a day." 2) "For every hour per day spent watching baby DVDs and videos, infants understood an average of six to eight fewer words than infants who did not watch them." Theories: 1) By spending time with "DVDs and TV instead of with people," the babies lose interaction with humans who "instinctively adjust their speech, eye gaze and social signals to support language acquisition." 2) Baby DVDs are worse than educational TV shows, because the DVDs "have little dialogue, short scenes, disconnected pictures and … linguistically indescribable images." Researcher's conclusion: Your kid is better off watching American Idol with you than watching Baby Einstein alone. Human Nature's view: You knew Baby Einstein had to be poison when President Bush extolled it. (To join the discussion, click here.)
Oxymoron of the day
The other day I saw a car with a ribbon stickum on the back that said "Autism Awareness."
Monday, August 06, 2007
Is that "I" as in "International," or "l" as in "clam"?
A while back I mentioned this blog dedicated to the inappropriate use of the lowercase "L". Today I went to Ask.com and entered the search term "CIAM" - an acronym for Congres Internationaux d'Architecture Moderne (or, auf Englisch: the International Congress of Modern Architecture).
Ask.com has done a lot of advertising lately (some creepier than others - does anyone else think those Kato Kaelin impersonators look like the kid from Mask?) touting their algorithm that helps you precisify your search to find exactly what you're looking for. My question is this: What do "Clam Chowder" and "Clam Anatomy" have to do with the cold, dehumanizing steel and glass of Modernist architecture?
Ask.com has done a lot of advertising lately (some creepier than others - does anyone else think those Kato Kaelin impersonators look like the kid from Mask?) touting their algorithm that helps you precisify your search to find exactly what you're looking for. My question is this: What do "Clam Chowder" and "Clam Anatomy" have to do with the cold, dehumanizing steel and glass of Modernist architecture?
Infrastructure costs money
This comic says it better than I could.
I think the fundamental question raised by this issue is, "What is the role of government?" Implicit in that is the more specific "What should the government do with our tax money?"
I'm working on a paper right now about the rise of suburban sprawl, and the most fascinating part, to me, is the fact that in the 1920s-1940s, the federal government established the following housing policy:
Apparently, the federal government is supposed to ensure massive profits for a few people with the power to buy -- I'm sorry, influence -- policymakers. Making sure that every citizen has a decent place to live is not the government's role, I guess. (Same goes for adequate healthcare and education, it would seem.)
I think the fundamental question raised by this issue is, "What is the role of government?" Implicit in that is the more specific "What should the government do with our tax money?"
I'm working on a paper right now about the rise of suburban sprawl, and the most fascinating part, to me, is the fact that in the 1920s-1940s, the federal government established the following housing policy:
The federal government will subsidize private developers. These developers can build vast tracts of single-family housing with little to no attention to creating good communities, then take their profit, and, when the septic tanks they installed (cuz they were cheaper) fail, we'll jump in with federal money to install a sewage system. In addition, public housing ("a breeding ground for communists," according to Joseph McCarthy) will be provided only grudgingly, and built poorly.
Apparently, the federal government is supposed to ensure massive profits for a few people with the power to buy -- I'm sorry, influence -- policymakers. Making sure that every citizen has a decent place to live is not the government's role, I guess. (Same goes for adequate healthcare and education, it would seem.)
Sunday, August 05, 2007
A day in the City
Yesterday Ben & I drove up to Minneapolis to see the movie Sunshine. (Naturally, it's not playing in Rochester, because our local Cinemonopoly thinks it's better to have two theaters (12 screens in one, 14 in the other) showing the exact same films.) I enjoyed the movie, on the whole. However, like most of the reviewers, I found the last act disappointing, and definitely not up to the standard of the first part.
==== SPOILER WARNING (highlight to view) ====
Introducing a crazed zombiesque monster to stalk and kill the crew during the last 25 or so minutes completely shifted the feel of the film. It began as more cerebrally and psychologically focused, drawing tension from the characters themselves and how they coped with decisions and obstacles. As act three began, it kept that feeling: five crew members remained - four conscious, one doped up and suicidal. To save oxygen and ensure they make complete the mission, do they kill the 5th guy? The grand question is, Is the fate of humanity worth ending his life now (thereby sacrificing your own "humanity"), knowing that you lack oxygen for the return to Earth, and you'll all die anyway?
Suddenly, the captain of the previous mission (lost 7 years earlier) is on board, insane and intent on stopping the crew from rebooting the sun. He plans to kill them all to achieve his goal. Oh, and I should mention that apparently we can't look directly at him, but we can see that he is covered head-to-toe in burnt, blistery skin. At this point the movie mimicked a simple slasher flick. Instead of focusing on how this crew was going to work through obstacles to accomplish their goal, we suddenly had to wonder who was going to be next to get hacked to death with an electric scalpel.
Personally, I think the role of crazed saboteur would have been more believable had it been given to Trey (the suicidal character). We still gain the added dimension of danger that a willful antagonist creates, but we don't have to suspend disbelief to the degree that we accept unblinkingly that the captain of Icarus 1 hung out for 7 years without disturbing any of the dust that coated every surface of that ship.
What could have been a 9+ stumbled in the end to a 7ish.
==== END SPOILER ====
After the film we took a look through the Uptown Art Fair, under intermittent rain. We even got mini-donuts! Woot!
Then we headed for the Linden Hills Bibelot store to pick up some soap. (After getting lost in the Kenwood neighborhood. Yes, I know that Kenwood isn't between Uptown and Linden Hills. I don't want to talk about it.) They have this nice Orange-Ginger soap that smells like candy - or rather, they did have - we bought their entire stock. (We really like the soap!)
While we were there, Ben asked the clerk if she could recommend any good restaurants nearby, and she directed us to a place called Cafe Twenty-Eight. I strongly recommend this place to anyone looking for a great meal at prices only slightly above those of a dive like Applebee's. Not only is this a nice locally-owned place, but they support local producers and businesses (their ground beef is ground at the butcher shop half a block away). The only downside was the handful of screaming brats, but I can overlook that when they serve their burger on a bun that might be mistaken for a croissant.
==== RANT ALERT ====
As we were leaving, we both thought that Linden Hills would be a nice neighborhood to live in. It's funny when a place like Arbor Lakes (or Arbor Fakes, as some accurately name it) in Maple Grove claims to offer "a distinctive shopping experience" and "a home town atmosphere with uptown attitude." In reality, it offers none of them. It's a strip mall atmosphere, populated almost entirely by national chain retailers, and embedded in big box, auto-friendly parking lots with nearby shopping. Comparing it to the 43rd and Upton commercial district in Linden Hills makes its absurdity painfully obvious.
==== END RANT ====
==== SPOILER WARNING (highlight to view) ====
Introducing a crazed zombiesque monster to stalk and kill the crew during the last 25 or so minutes completely shifted the feel of the film. It began as more cerebrally and psychologically focused, drawing tension from the characters themselves and how they coped with decisions and obstacles. As act three began, it kept that feeling: five crew members remained - four conscious, one doped up and suicidal. To save oxygen and ensure they make complete the mission, do they kill the 5th guy? The grand question is, Is the fate of humanity worth ending his life now (thereby sacrificing your own "humanity"), knowing that you lack oxygen for the return to Earth, and you'll all die anyway?
Suddenly, the captain of the previous mission (lost 7 years earlier) is on board, insane and intent on stopping the crew from rebooting the sun. He plans to kill them all to achieve his goal. Oh, and I should mention that apparently we can't look directly at him, but we can see that he is covered head-to-toe in burnt, blistery skin. At this point the movie mimicked a simple slasher flick. Instead of focusing on how this crew was going to work through obstacles to accomplish their goal, we suddenly had to wonder who was going to be next to get hacked to death with an electric scalpel.
Personally, I think the role of crazed saboteur would have been more believable had it been given to Trey (the suicidal character). We still gain the added dimension of danger that a willful antagonist creates, but we don't have to suspend disbelief to the degree that we accept unblinkingly that the captain of Icarus 1 hung out for 7 years without disturbing any of the dust that coated every surface of that ship.
What could have been a 9+ stumbled in the end to a 7ish.
==== END SPOILER ====
After the film we took a look through the Uptown Art Fair, under intermittent rain. We even got mini-donuts! Woot!
Then we headed for the Linden Hills Bibelot store to pick up some soap. (After getting lost in the Kenwood neighborhood. Yes, I know that Kenwood isn't between Uptown and Linden Hills. I don't want to talk about it.) They have this nice Orange-Ginger soap that smells like candy - or rather, they did have - we bought their entire stock. (We really like the soap!)
While we were there, Ben asked the clerk if she could recommend any good restaurants nearby, and she directed us to a place called Cafe Twenty-Eight. I strongly recommend this place to anyone looking for a great meal at prices only slightly above those of a dive like Applebee's. Not only is this a nice locally-owned place, but they support local producers and businesses (their ground beef is ground at the butcher shop half a block away). The only downside was the handful of screaming brats, but I can overlook that when they serve their burger on a bun that might be mistaken for a croissant.
==== RANT ALERT ====
As we were leaving, we both thought that Linden Hills would be a nice neighborhood to live in. It's funny when a place like Arbor Lakes (or Arbor Fakes, as some accurately name it) in Maple Grove claims to offer "a distinctive shopping experience" and "a home town atmosphere with uptown attitude." In reality, it offers none of them. It's a strip mall atmosphere, populated almost entirely by national chain retailers, and embedded in big box, auto-friendly parking lots with nearby shopping. Comparing it to the 43rd and Upton commercial district in Linden Hills makes its absurdity painfully obvious.
==== END RANT ====
Harry Potter and the Movie Review
Friday night Ben & I went to see the latest Harry Potter flick. Unlike the vast majority of the audience, I have not read any of the books, and have no desire to do so. Nonetheless, I have enjoyed all of the films. People have complained about the loss of content, and shallow character development. At least one user said that if you hadn't read the book, you wouldn't be able to follow the plot. Completely untrue. I had no trouble with the plot, and while the movie may have focused excessively on HP, isn't that the point of the story? Isn't he the central character throughout the series?
Friday, August 03, 2007
I'm on a mission
I was making enchiladas the other night and noticed a recipe on the back of the tortilla package for "Southwest Steak Tacos." Notice the first item listed.
I thought, wait a minute, the bag only contains ....
I thought the mismatch in packaging hot dogs and hot dog buns was bad.
I thought, wait a minute, the bag only contains ....
I thought the mismatch in packaging hot dogs and hot dog buns was bad.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Check the polls
Poll results:
Q: What are you reading these days?
A:
.... Fiction: 5/7 (71%)
.... Non-fiction: 3/7 (42%)
.... How-to manuals: 0/7 (0%)
.... Blogs & such: 5/7 (71%)
.... News: 2/7 (28%)
.... Non-news periodicals: 4/7 (57%)
.... Cereal box 1/7 (14%)
.... Minds: 3/7 (42%)
.... Other: 1/7 (14%)
.... None of the above: 2/7 (28%)
Total: 26/7 (371%)
New poll will be up shortly.
Q: What are you reading these days?
A:
.... Fiction: 5/7 (71%)
.... Non-fiction: 3/7 (42%)
.... How-to manuals: 0/7 (0%)
.... Blogs & such: 5/7 (71%)
.... News: 2/7 (28%)
.... Non-news periodicals: 4/7 (57%)
.... Cereal box 1/7 (14%)
.... Minds: 3/7 (42%)
.... Other: 1/7 (14%)
.... None of the above: 2/7 (28%)
Total: 26/7 (371%)
New poll will be up shortly.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Speculative journalism
I think I need to turn off the TV now. We've entered the phase where the reporters and newscasters are rampantly speculating about the cause of the bridge collapse and stuff. They've gone past reporting of facts and moved smoothly into speculation about the causes. Was it terrorists? Was it weaknesses indicated in a 2006 report on the structure? Let's talk to a structural safety engineer and say, "I know you don't know anything about this particular case, but what might have happened?"
Morons.
Morons.
Spare me the value judgments and give me the facts
There talking about this bridge collapse thing on the telly, and they keep saying things like, "This is a catastrophic event." Really? I don't need to hear your opinion about character of the event. You're (allegedly) a journalist. Do your job: report the facts of the event.
First!
Just after 6:00 this evening (about 35 minutes ago) the I-35W bridge over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis collapsed.
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