Am I a bad person?

Well, duh. But specifically, am I a bad person for enjoying/laughing about this news about Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts having a seizure?

The WebMD article mentions "Roberts fell on the dock and sustained scrapes." "On the dock." In other words, he was this close [audio] to falling into the water, where he might have drowned.

Why must we keep destroying small exurban communities?

I'm so ticked off right now. I just got an email from a classmate regarding a project in the City of Lindstrom, MN, which is located about 40 miles northwest of the Twin Cities, and, as a result of geography, is in the path of destructive suburban development. They're looking for a student to help them address "Community-friendly design for State Hwy. 8 through Lindstrom."

Here's the run-down on the community:
-Small, but growing (3,923, up 59% from 2,461 in 1990)
-A "small-town agricultural center and resort/cabin area [that] is changing into an outer ring suburb"
-"Known for its small town character, many recreational opportunities (it is surrounded by lakes), and its special emphasis on its Swedish heritage"

Here's the problem:
-"Currently the Lindstrom segment of Highway 8 is measured at a Level of Service F, meaning that it is so congested that it is 'failing'"
-Further, Highway 8 cuts right through "the heart of downtown"

And the reason for the project:
-"To relieve congestion and improve safety"

The proposal (and this is the part that really grinds my gears):
-"To change the two way highway in to one-way pairs, using the existing highway as eastbound lanes, and the next parallel street for westbound travel. MnDOT’s primary concern is to improve the travel times for through traffic on the highway."

Read that again: "MnDOT’s primary concern is to improve the travel times for through traffic on the highway." This is fine for intercity travel, but since when is downtown about moving vehicles? Small-town Main Streets should be about people and community, not about the most efficient way of moving lots of metal boxes. GRRR!

And then:
-"However, the City and its citizens are concerned about the impact of the road project on the local traffic circulation, bicycle and pedestrian circulation and safety, and the character of the city. The drastic roadway changes, which will require the removal of some existing businesses, could have detrimental effects on the city’s economic vitality, safety, and livability if they are not designed with the community in mind."

I so sincerely wish I wasn't taking so many credits this fall so that I could take this job and prevent the desecration of a small town. The obvious solution is to route the traffic around the downtown area. Jeebus Fucking Christ, why are people so fucking obtuse!? Dammit, they've angried up my blood with their idiocy.

I guess the only thing I can do is write a letter to the editor of their local paper and encourage the citizens to stand up for their beliefs and their concerns. (If anyone else wants to do the same, send your letter to chisago@citlink.net.)

Helping African orphans become good little godbots

Today's Blog of Note (spoken loudly into echo chamber): Books for Africa. I'm not including a link - you'll see why in a moment. I thought it looked like a cool idea. The premise, it looks like, is to provide books to orphans in several African countries in an effort to provide them with an education. Of course, I wondered if my books written in English are really ideal....

Further investigation revealed the the program is run by the Rafiki Foundation, "a Christian organization whose goal is to help Africa’s orphaned and vulnerable children become godly contributors to their communities and the world."

I thought, "Hmmm, I have a feeling I know where this is going, but let's give it a chance - there's a very remote chance that they are providing education without trying to indoctrinate these kids." Not surprisingly, that hope was dashed:

The Rafiki Foundation provides God's Word and ministries of
mercy to the youth (both boys and girls) of African countries.

and

Rafiki schools provide a quality Christian education for the children who reside at the Village. The children learn to think, live, and lead others from a Biblical worldview.

In other words: We're going to provide them with an education, but we'll make sure they follow our wacky belief system about an invisible man in the sky who watches everything you do, and, while he loves you, is eager to condemn you to eternal damnation if you don't follow is bizarre rules.

I wonder if I should send my copy of Achebe's Things Fall Apart.

Pedestrian awareness day

How walkable is your house? Enter your address, and get a "walkability score" for the surrounding neighborhood, based on business & service listings from Google. High scores mean you don't need to get in your car just to pick up a half-gallon of milk.

I was pretty surprised that our address scored 22. That seems awfully high for an overgrown suburb.

I like dogs

I found an intriguing piece on Slate about the genetic heritage of dogs. (There's a reason I won't get another purebred pooch.) And despite some of the funny names people are coming up with for "hybrids" (bassettoodle, boxador, rat-cha, papshund, frengle, and yes, even dorkie), I'm glad that these so-called "designer dogs" are gaining popularity, because it will go a long way toward diluting the impact of generations of inbreeding.

Nonetheless - is it really so bad that we have this resource that can expand our understanding of genetics, particularly as it relates to heritable diseases? The article seems to take a dim view of the practice, but I don't think it's so cut-and-dried.

Besides which, the dog wasn't the only result of prehistoric genetic engineering. Agriculture, anyone?

Simpson's movie pre-post

We just saw an ad for Burger King, wherein the premise is the recording of an ad for Homer eating a Whopper(TM). Multiple takes are involved, and Homer botches them all, of course.

Ben looked over at me and said, "It's sad that originally the show was a satire of the American condition."

Arrrr, it be addictive

Puzzle Pirates. Not recommended for addictive personalities. Really.

I'm like Diogenes, but ...

... instead of an honest man, I'm looking for something worth adding to my "Random Links." And instead of a lantern, I'm using teh internets. But otherwise I'm exactly like Diogenes. Really.

Blogger.com features a "Blog of Note" each weekday, and oftentimes they're interesting enough to merit attention and placement on that list. I saw one the other day called The Caffeinated Librarian and thought it might be promising. When I went to check it out, I was bombarded with post after post about Harry Potter. Well, so much for that.

Today I decided to check again. The first one that caught my eye was Guerrilla Busfare, and I thought, "That might be interesting - it sounds like it could be someone who is pro-mass transit, and that's cool." Then I read the brief description at the top of the page: "There's a fine line between criticism and haterism. Tread lightly." Well, so much for that.

Then there was a link labeled Yeah, That Vegan ****. Hmm. Let's see what this is aboot. Description: "Vegan recipes that will make you scream with unbridled pleasure." I like food, and while I'm a dedicated omnivore, I have no issues with animal-free meals every so often. Plus, I know no fewer than 4 vegetarians. (Hay guys!) Looks like we have a winner!

This just in...

Results of latest poll:
Q: Which is most important to you?
A: ..Sensible shoes (1/6)
.....A manicure (0/6)
.....My favorite TV show (2/6)
.....A good book (1/6)
.....Time travel (2/6)
.....My career (0/6)

New poll is up!

i can has jeebus?

Pharyngula links to this hilarious item. Make sure you check out some of the comments on that post - hilarity and brilliance abound!

Why the Bible matters

Hilarious.

2057: The City, Take 2

Remember a couple days ago, when I talked about the city of the future? Today I read a piece from 1999 called "The American Metropolis at Century's End," by Robert Fishman. The premise was: Let's survey prominent "urban specialists" (architects & landscape architects, urban planners, historians, and so on) and put together a list of the top 10 influences on American cities in the 2nd half of the 20th century, and another list of the 10 most likely influences for the 1st half of the 21st.

Just because I can, here's the first list:
1. The 1956 Interstate Highway Act and the Dominance of the Automobile
2. Federal Housing Administration Mortgage Financing and Subdivision Regulation
3. De-Industrialization of Central Cities
4. Urban Renewal: Downtown Redevelopment and Public Housing Projects (1949 Housing Act)
5. Levittown (the Mass-Produced Suburban Tract House)
6. Racial Segregation and Job Discrimination in Cities and Suburbs
7. Enclosed Shopping Malls
8. Sunbelt-Style Sprawl
9. Air Conditioning
10. Urban Riots of the 1960s

But what about the future? What do the experts think could be the most influential factors in the future development of the American metropolis? Let's take a look:
1. Growing Disparities of Wealth
2. The Suburban Political Majority
3. Aging of the Baby Boomers
4. A Perpetual "Underclass" in the Central Cities and Inner-Ring Suburbs
5. Smart Growth: Environmental and Planning Initiatives to Limit Sprawl
6. The Internet
7. Deterioration of the First-Ring Post-1945 Suburbs
8. Shrinking Household Size
9. Expanded Superhighway System of "Outer Beltways" to Serve New Edge Cities
10. Racial Integration as Part of the Increasing Diversity in Cities and Suburbs

The article mentioned that these top 10 lists were selected from 25 choices (for the past 50 years) and 19 choices (for the next 50). I don't know what the 19 "future" choices were, but I kind of doubt the list included "holographic cartoon sharks," "self-driving cars," and "personal robots."

Finally, my laziness pays off!

I just got an email from the University that tells me:

The Minnesota Pollution Control Agency (MPCA) is forecasting an Air Pollution Health Advisory for the Twin Cities metro area from Sunday July 22 through Thursday July 25.

It goes on to discuss some details of the advisory, including those most likely to be affected:

Sensitive groups include those with respiratory problems such as asthma (and cardiovascular problems if it is a fine particle event) as well as senior citizens, children and physically active adults. (emphasis added)

I am vindicated in my rejection of exercise!

More quality TV

A while back I noted the quality programming available on The Learning Channel. Remember "The Man Whose Arms Exploded" and "When Sleep Goes Bad"? I figured out their programming philosophy based on those programs and tonight's line-up: "I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day," "World's Heaviest Man," and "Help! I'm a Hoarder!" I'm pretty sure that philosophy can be paraphrased as: "Sensational exploitation of people whose lives are miserable."

I have some ideas for them:
...."Isolated From Reality. A documentary examination of home-schooled kids."
...."Edward Rubberhands. A Pennsylvania family shares a genetic disorder that gives them rubbery skin and stretchable bones."
...."Circus Freaks, Nothing But Circus Freaks. You get the idea."
...."I Can't Stop Masturbating! Profiles of people with painfully chafed genitalia."
...."Manimal. Looks at the case of a man with a cat growing out of his torso."
...."Miscarriages, Miscarriages, Miscarriages! A woman who has had over two dozen miscarriages discusses her continued attempts to reproduce."
...."Satan Incarnate: The Secret Life of Dick Cheney. Geraldo Rivera leads an exclusive investigation into the Dark Lord's secret underground lair. (Asbestos suit advisory)"

Okay, that last one doesn't quite fit in with the aforementioned credo, but maybe we should include people who make others miserable?

Oh my god.

I just saw the scariest thing I've seen in a loooong time. A thing so horrifying, I'm almost tempted to actually watch it. I'm looking through the cable tv listings, and I see channel 23, identified as TVGN (TV Guide Network, apparently), has a program called "Look-a-Like." Here is the description:

Look-a-Like
5-6p
"Celine Dion", In the third-season premiere, a woman gets a makeover to resemble Celine Dion. (Reality).

I can't even begin to tell you all the things that are wrong with that.

Maybe I should move to Vermont...

Vermont town can bare it no longer.

Apparently, there's no state law in Vermont banning public nudity. That's cool, in my book.

Best parts of the article:

"You can't go into a store and buy an adult magazine until you're 18, and yet you can walk down the street in Vermont and see naked people. There's something wrong with that picture."

Note that he doesn't say what exactly is wrong with that picture. I have a feeling there could be some diverging opinions on which of these situations needs to be changed.

The idea of naked people spoiling Gallery Walk night by scaring families with children away is chilling.

Ya know, I get why prudish Americans would consider this an issue, and why moralistic jackasses would try to keep children from seeing people naked in a non-sexual way. But I think chilling is a bit of a stretch, don't you?

Break out your shades, cuz the future is blazin'

The other night I saw this show - well, part of it - on the Science Channel called "2057." Actually, it was three shows. There was one about "The Body" (which I didn't see) and one about "The World" (which I also didn't see) and one about "The City" (which I saw in part). I was intrigued by this concept of the future of the city. Given my studies in landscape architecture and my leaning toward urban design, I wonder what the future of the city holds. So I thought, This should be interesting.

Do I need to say at this point that I was disappointed? Apparently the city of the future is defined entirely by technology. I did learn a few things from the 20 minutes or so that I watched.

1) In 50 years, everyone will have a personal holographic pet that follows them around and apparently keeps children safe via its GPS module. Or something. It didn't make a lot of sense at the time, and makes even less now that I see it written down.

2) In 50 years, bipedal robotic assistants will be common. They will exhibit basic human form (a torso, head, two arms, and two legs). Everyone will have one, and old people will still cherish their 35-year-old models of these devices. Really? Given the rate at which technology becomes obsolete in the year 2007, I'm finding it hard to believe that a dusty old manbot from 2020 will still be around 37 years later. Also, which would we restrict them to the limited humanoid form? Why not give them 4 or 6 legs, so they'll be more stable? And throw on 6 or 8 arms, to increase their capacity to carry our groceries.

3) In 50 years, some fogey will build his grandson a souped up holographic cartoon shark buddy, and then run away from home (but leave his archaic robot friend behind). The kid will proceed to hook up grampa's 50-year-old laptop to the 2057 version of the internet (which, by the way, will be EVERYWHERE), and put his new pal into the city-wide internet, where it will swim from one gigantic holo-billboard to another. With it, unbeknownst to the annoying brat, it will carry an ancient computer virus that will cause the entire urban network to crash. (This reveals a couple of things: again, it appears that within the next 10 years or so, technology will stop being obsolete, and backwards-compatibility will extend so far into the past as to make obsolescence ... obsolete. With any luck, they'll be able to read those 5-1/4" floppies I've got in the bottom of my desk drawer.)

4) In the ensuing chaos, traffic jams will reappear for the first time in 40 years, because automated cars and networked roads and GPS satellites will make sure that the traffic is always flowing smoothly (up to that point, at least), and there will never be any technical glitches that cause that system to fail. Thankfully, this seamless flow of traffic has also eliminated traffic accidents and related fatalities, and, as previously noted, there are never any major malfunctions in the system. Looks like Microsoft will be losing the contract on that one. (Note to self: Invest accordingly.)

5) The police force will oversee all manner of things, including the city-wide network. In the ultimate irony, the kid who brings down the city (in a performance reminiscent of Jeff Goldblum's character in Independence Day) turns out to be the son of the Chief Inspector of Integrated City Network, or whatever title this apparent police state will bestow on the person in charge.

There was no talk of the actual city of the future. Will suburbia continue to dominate the urban landscape of the industrialized world? Will multi-nodal cities spring up around present metropolises? Where will people work, relative to where they live? Will the concepts of New Urbanism finally be implemented in an effective way, or will we continue to see contemporary suburbia dressed up in ever-fancier tuxedos? Will "urban sprawl" - however you define it - be curtailed? What about poverty and race? Will segregation of the poor, blacks, and poor blacks continue to be de rigeur? What about environmental and ecological issues? How will cities of the future address the problems associated with massive impervious surfaces and the urban heat island effect? Will green space be recognized as a valuable sociocultural and physical component of the city, and will metropolitan areas be planned accordingly? Will urban planning itself become a more holistic and proactive discipline?

What about the fact that the vast majority of the world's population is (and will continue to be) located at the meeting point of water and land? What effect will rising sea levels have? What about climate change? Signs point to more frequent and severe tropical storms. Will New Orleans be remembered as the first of many coastal cities destroyed by storms?

And we havent' even looked at developing countries. What of the inconceivably massive slums that accompany so many major cities worldwide? How will continued population growth and urbanization in the developing world affect the quality of life in Bombay and its ilk?

Apparently, these are not questions that matter. Apparently, in 50 years, the city will continue to be defined as it matters to middle- and upper-class Caucasian Americans, and how technology will make their lives easier and safer.

I guess I shouldn't have expected much from a show on the Science Channel.

New poll

Results for the first poll:

Question: Check all that apply

Answers:
Yes: 4/4 (100%)
Martin Van Buren: 1/4 (25%)
212 degrees: 4/4 (100%)
April 3rd, 1946: 2/4 (50%)

Totals: 11/4 (275%)

New poll is activated today!

"Do as I say, not as I do"

I was thinking last night that I'm a big fan of that philosophy in most cases. While I totally understand the opposing viewpoint of "Physician, heal thyself," I don't necessarily think it's the most helpful in dealing with real-life issues. If a bum on the street approaches me and asks for a dollar so he can get food or booze or whatever, and he tells me, "You should be saving up for your retirement," does his poverty negate the value of the advice?

Linguistical fun

This post over at Language Log is worth a look. (I also ranted about this issue in a previous post.)

Today I went to see - ooh! that dog has a poofy tail!

Today I went back to my pusher, after 5 weeks of taking a higher dose of Wellbutrin and shifting my Depakote to bedtime. These changes were made in an effort to address my inability to concentrate, which in turn is interfering with my summer class work. So, 5 weeks later, no noticeable improvement has occurred. I said, "I'd really like to get some kind of stimulant (like ritalin) to see if that helps." Of course, being the ethical physician that he is, he refuses to hand out drugs without at least some diagnostic evidence of the problem in question. My question is, what's wrong with "reverse-diagnosis"? Give me the drug, if the problem goes away, then that must be what's wrong with me!

So tomorrow I go in to take the TOVA - Test of Variable Attention, and then after they get it scored (Thursday) he will (if the results indicate appropriately) have me pick up a pill, which I will then take on Friday morning before re-taking the TOVA.

Of course, in the midst of all this, my primary concern is getting this coursework done. GRRR!

The polls are open

The good folks at blogger.com have added a "Poll" feature, whereby you can answer questions posed by me. I'm going to try it out, & see how much fun it is.

Questions will be updated with regularity similar to that of other features in this blog.

Binge blogging

I went for a few days there early this month with no entries. I was feeling like crap and avoiding the world, spending as much time as possible unconscious. Now in the past 3 days I've made 9 posts (out of the 13 for this month). Granted, a couple of them are of the Tourette's variety, but still. I'm wondering if friends will be staging an intervention and sending me into a 12-step program. I'm concerned about my ability to control my blogging. I keep telling myself, "I can tell when I've had enough. I can quit when I want to. I'm in control, really." But I'm not sure if I believe it.

Will ours be one of the thousands of homes torn apart by blogging? If I over-blog, will I become abusive and mean? Is this going to affect my ability to hold a job? Can those people over there smell the blog on my breath? Is that an alien-Elvis hybrid watching me from that unmarked government surveillance vehicle!?

AAAAAGGGGHHHH!

You know what they say about big feet....

Friend Mary and I had a brief exchange about Norman Borlaug, a U of M alumnus and nominal father of the Green Revolution of the mid-20th century that radically increased agricultural food production in the developing world. I mentioned that he'd been mentioned in a recent meeting I attended at the University's St. Paul campus.

There was much discussion of opportunities to make it the "Green Campus" - reduced turfgrass, more native plantings/greater biodiversity, stormwater management stuff, and so forth. A comment was made (tongue in cheek) about Borlaug's "Green Revolution," and how we could position it as "another Green Revolution" from said location. Then someone pointed out that Borlaug's version was very nearly antithetical to the current ideas, because it intensified agriculture (more chemicals, more monoculture in the landscape, and so forth). Then it was suggested that the new effort could be the "Real Green Revolution." This was all said amid laughs, and in fun, but it does give one pause, and perhaps more than anything highlights the changing values of the late 20th century.

But you know, I really like eating.

And she responded,

Oh yeah, he was *definitely* a product of the thinking of his time, but what he did with the knowledge available, and how hard he worked on behalf of people in parts of the world that were largely ignored on the basis of them not being here -- wow. I get tired just reading about what he's gotten up to.

And I got to thinking about the idea of one's ecological footprint. [The latter link points to a PDF file. In the unlikely event that you lack a PDF reader, (1) you've been living under a rock for 5 years, and (2) you need one. Download Adobe Acrobat Reader.] Some of you may be familiar with the Ecological Footprint Quiz. It calculates (roughly) how many acres of "biologically productive" land are required to sustain your lifestyle. I've had friends score as low as 8 and as high as the mid-50s. My score falls right around 30. The average American requires 24 acres. [Sidebar: Check out this interesting "Kid's Version" of the ecological footprint quiz. Careful, some of the questions might go off.]

According to the quiz, "Worldwide, there exist 4.5 biologically productive acres per person," and if everyone lived like me, "we would need 7.1 planets." (I'm assuming that those planets would all be identical to Earth.)

I tried answering in several different ways. For example, if I gave up my car and took public transit or my feet as my primary modes of locomotion, and if I ate less meat, and if I minimized my consumption of heavily processed foods shipped from parts unknown and harvested by various ethnic types, and if I radically altered my consumption of material goods and the disposal of the attendant wastes.... What is the lowest score I could achieve while still having a "decent" standard of living (by my admittedly American standards)? I knocked it down to about 10. If everyone lived like that version of me, we'd need 2.3 planets.

So I started thinking, if there are 4.5 acres per person, how many acres does that mean we have in total? Taking a total population of 6,607,578,032 (or 6.6 billion, for easier figuring), I come up with 29,700,000,000 acres. So how many people would the planet support, if we all lived like Americans, and averaged 24 acres per person? By my math, 1,237,500,000.

Let's say that hypothetically the bloated, over-consumptive American lifestyle were brought under control, and we could all live on 12 acres (aiming a little above my personal "idealized" score of 10). At that rate, the Earth would support 2,475,000,000 people.

The answers necessary to achieve a score of 4 indicate a level of privation that surely rivals that of the most poverty-stricken of this nation: no motorized travel, a strict vegetarian diet derived exclusively from local sources, and 4 people living in a residence of less than 1,000 square feet.

I have two words for the Chinese, the Indians, Africans, Catholics, much of South America, and all of Indonesia: STOP FUCKING!

City planning and democracy

I'm reading an article by Paul Davidoff, published in 1965 in the Journal of the American Institute of Planners. It's called "Advocacy and Pluralism in Planning." Davidoff argues that minorities in particular, and citizen groups in particular, need a means of expressing their needs to planning commissions so that their interests are taken into account in the planning process. He notes that the government (at whatever level, but often federally funded) is traditionally the only organization involved in planning, and that it tends to plan based on what is deemed best for "those people," rather than soliciting their input in the process to find out what they really need. He recounts:

For example, last year a Federal official complained to a meeting of planning professors that the academic planners were not giving enough support to Federal programs. He assumed that every planner should be on the side of the Federal renewal program. [B]ut such support should not be expected as a matter of loyalty. In a democratic system opposition to a public agency should be just as normal and appropriate as support. The agency, despite the face that it is concerned with planning, may be serving undesired ends.

The nerve! I guess you'd have to expect that sort of unpatriotic tripe from some socialist hippie academic in the 60s!

I really need to stop reading the newspaper

... and by "read" I mean "skim the headlines and maybe read a third of every other story."

Overweight children face widespread stigma, unhappy lives, new analysis concludes Overweight children are stigmatized by their peers as early as age 3 and even face bias from their parents and teachers, giving them a quality of life comparable to people with cancer, a new analysis concludes. [And now, let's play rumor-monger: Being fat = cancer.]

Eagan teen charged with running prostitution ring

Baby needs a new pair of SHOES [The phrase "Too much disposable income" comes to mind.]

Those record overdraft fees

World's tallest man marries a woman two-thirds his height The world's tallest man married a woman who's two-thirds his height and half his age.... [It doesn't mention the story of how they met, but I imagine they were on two trains, one leaving from Beijing at 8:40 am and traveling south at 97 km/h, and the other leaving Shanghai at 9:03 am and traveling north at 94 km/h.... Also, I like how the end of the story dissolves into random babbling about dolphins.]

Suburban Melting Pot (I'm not sure if this URL will stay put or not, so if you have problems with it, let me know.)
[My fave line from this article is "Coming to America was a good thing. Nigeria was home, familiar and dear in so many ways, but the West African country was in political and economic disarray." Whereas America, apparently, is not.]

Everyone is great

Over the past [unit of times], I've been futzing around with the PersonalDNA personality test. I've noticed something: All of the personality types, as far as I can tell, are "positive" in their connotations. There's apparently no way to get a result of "Anxious Flake," "Narcissistic Asshole," "Sadistic Egomaniac," or "Self-absorbed Bitch."

It's all about "Generous Creators" and "Benevolent Artists" and "Considerate Leaders" and "Imaginative Visionaries" and "Cautious Analysts" and "Reserved Dreamers" and "Assertive Idealists." If the world was really made up of only these types of people, wouldn't we have solved more social ills long ago?

Other results I'd like to see:
"Concerned Bigamist"
"Maladapted Hypochondriac"
"High-tension Power lines"
"Nagging Sycophant"
"Zealous Fundamentalist" (aka "Religious Nutbag," aka "Sectarian Violence")
"Charming Software Pirate" or "Modern-day Robin Hood"
"Dominating Chauffeur"
"Sensible Shoes"

Completely irrelevant title

Random comic

One of the things I love about Dinosaur Comics is that it's one of the few places you'll see a phrase like "it's sort of a bizarre emphasis that entirely divorces a smiley from its own visual iconography."

Job title

Athletic Photography Intern

Oh look!

There's a puppy in that car!

Why I avoid the news

After perusing the print and online editions of the Star Tribune today, I realized why I so rarely pay attention to current events.

Brother charged in stabbing death of Crystal woman A 21-year-old Minneapolis man was charged Tuesday with second-degree murder in the stabbing of his 45-year-old sister. According to court papers, he told police he was angry with her because she called him names. [Any guesses about their ethnicity?]

The cowboy way The man behind the Hamel Rodeo has bull riding in his blood. [I hope he's not driving or operating heavy machinery.]

Pope reasserts other Christian denominations are not true churches [Well that's good to know. Oh, did I roll my eyes?]

Mother, son victims of gang rape in Miami [Any guesses about their ethnicity, or those of the perpetrators? Any guesses about the number of fatherless homes involved? Any guesses about segregation and poverty? Seriously - this is just really sad.]

Ginormous edition: Dictionary adds 100 new words Merriam-Webster has embraced about 100 new words in its latest Collegiate dictionary, a development doesn't please everyone [sic]. [Look for embiggens and promulent in a future edition.]

Oregon man flies 193 miles on a lawn chair and 105 balloons [Really? I find myself filled with a sense of I don't care.]

Invoking privilege, Bush blocks testimony [There's some mention of Nixon in there, but as we all know, he was not a crook.]

Al-Zawahri threatens Britain over Rushdie honor [and, in related religious whackjobbery (though not from the Strib), Threats [against evolutionary biologists] by religious group spark probe at CU-Boulder - this one sparked some fun comments over at Pharyngula]

NAACP delegates bury N-word A mock funeral was held in Detroit to do away with the racial slur, its spirit and everything else associated with it. [I struggle to find a comment that does justice to the inanity of this.]

The roof, the roof, the roof is something something

So the insurance guy was just here looking at our roof. Some of you might know that a section of the roof on the porchey addition is squishy under its rubber-mat coverment. We contacted the insurance company, and they sent a guy (from Ohio) to look at it.

The good news is that they'll pay for the repairs. Huzzah! Apparently we have some hail damage on the roof that they'll also repair. So yay for that!

Less than meets the eye

So, I was kind of interested in seeing Transformers: The Movie, and I thought Ben had expressed interest as well. Ben told me that he'd heard that it had little plot (no surprise there) but that it was fun to watch. It also received a relatively high rating from Rotten Tomatoes (57% among critics, and 84% among the rest of us).

(The following may contain spoilers. I mean, assuming a movie with so little plot can be spoiled.)
My expectations were suitably low. So low, that it ought to have been hard to not meet them. Somehow, this film failed to meet those low expectations. At about 2 and a quarter hours long, it was too long by an hour and a half. Portions of the film dragged by. When the kid and the girl go to his house to recover his great grandfather's glasses, upon which is etched the secret location of some cube thing that the Decepticons are after (to destroy the human race, of course), was it really necessary for us to spend 25 minutes while he looks for the backpack in his room, and the Autobots destroy his parents' yard? You know how most movies, when they are released on DVD, include deleted scenes? This one won't, because I don't think there were any. Every appallingly dull, sophomoric moment of cheese was crammed into this turd, and the action, while decent, didn't keep me interested. As for the the high quality CGI, ... seriously, who goes to see a movie based on how non-fake a robot-car looks when it pees on John Turturro?

[Interesting sidebar: I previously posted about the Transformers movie. That reference to the Ponies of the Apocalypse? Check this out, and try guessing who one of the producers is....]

I did learn a couple of things, though:
1. If you want a hot blonde to pass for smart, give her a foreign accent.
2. Every mechanical device on earth is just waiting to be turned into a Transformer so it can beat the crap out of humans.
3. Trite lines like, "Bumblebee is a brave soldier" don't sound at all ridiculous when (a) delivered by a talking semi and (b) the character has a stupid-ass name like "Bumblebee."
4. For maximum impact, a film ought to have a strong philosophical underpinning, and close with a voice-over monologue by Optimus Prime in which he states that "humans, like us, are more than meets the eye."
5. Nobody found a way to fit the phrase "robots in disguise" into the script. Come on people. You've got over two hours of screen time, and nothing is happening. Try harder in the sequel. (And oh yes, there will be a sequel. One of the Decepticons escapes, and will no doubt return in the summer of 2009 with more evil robuts, and Optimus Prime has broadcast a message out into space, telling any remaining Autobots that they are welcome on Earth.)
[**Update: just looked at Michael Bay's entry on IMDB, and Transformers 2 is slated for 2009. Interestingly, he is also directing a remake of The Birds. Yes, the Hitchcock film. If you want a bit of hilarity, check out this thread on the IMDB forums.]
6. A hot slutty chick with a criminal record will dump her jock boyfriend the instant he makes a denigrating comment.
7. How do you tell a good Transformer from a bad one? The good ones are American made vehicles, and the bad ones are military assault vehicles.
8. Comic relief will only get you so far.

XYZCAT

(thanks to Ben for the inspiration)

[Redacted]

We just [redacted] [redacted]. It was [redacted].

Spoiler warning
[redacted] becomes [redacted], and [redacted]. [redacted] [redacted] looking for [redacted]. And [redacted] [redacted] [redacted], left to [redacted]. The [redacted] [redacted], and [redacted]. [redacted] become [redacted] on [redacted], and [redacted] is [redacted] [redacted].

[redacted] returns, and [redacted] [redacted]. Of course, [redacted]. [redacted] [redacted] the [redacted], [redacted].

[redacted] is revealed to be [redacted] (Yeah, I [redacted] too). [redacted] decides [redacted], and [redacted], but [redacted] [redacted].
End spoilers

Now we just have to wait for [redacted].