Bureaucratic asshattery, part XIV

So peeved right now, just HAVE to post or brain will a splode.

I came in this a.m. to work in the computer lab, cuz I have a review this afternoon and need to get stuff finished. Lab should open at 8. Not for the first time, it didn't. I waited. About 8:05, I asked the other kid standing around if he was waiting for the lab too, & he said yes, so I went to the office of our Director of Technology to tell him.

His reaction: "Jenny must be running late." (I almost thought he was going to tell me to just go wait for her, but then he got out of his chair.)
Me: "This has happened before..."
Him: "Yes, but the lab has also opened early before. People have lives." (I don't remember his exact phrasing, but his overall tone was pretty dismissive.
Me: "Well, I have a life too, and work that needs to get done."

What annoyed me so much about this was his dismissive tone, and the apparent attitude that when they say the lab opens at 8 am, what they really mean is an average of 8 am. They need to clarify that, I think. Also, I'm pretty sure that if you worked in a real job, Jenny, "having a life" wouldn't cut it as a reason for repeated tardiness.

Worst. Directions. Ever. (Graphics edition!)

In preparation for my new lappy, I'm checking out the bargain-priced Micro$~1 software available through the U. On the main page of the University Computer Services web site, I noticed the link "Where can I park at UCS?" The graphic they've put together to point out their parking spaces is hilarious. (I'll post it here, since who knows if it'll disappear after word gets around that the Lady with a Hat, Arbiter of eQuality, has dissed them.)

All your web sites are belong to us

Way back in the day, when I was a surly, unmannered LVS at One BM, our documentation had to be translated into multiple foreign languages. We sent it off to the translation centers (one of which may or may not have had herpes), and waited for them to send the foreign-language versions back. (Sidebar: how would you outsource that? Would you have India do all the translations, or would you have the work done by college students studying the corresponding language?)

My understanding is that the bulk of the translation was done by computer programs that would flag problem areas for a real person to examine. This was a big reason we needed to be careful about word choices ("Execute the command," for example, might transl(iter)ate in unusual ways.)

Anyway, it looks like machine translation has not progressed much in the intervening years, as evidenced here. The Duisburg-Nord Landschaftspark is built on an old industrial site in Duisburg Nord, Germany. The designer (Peter Latz) took a unique approach to recycling filthy industrial urban land, and this park is one of my precedent studies for my capstone project. (Fun side note: The translated version of the park's official web site indicates that its size is 200 acres. In actual fact, it's 230 hectares, or just under 570 acres.)

Powerful new functionality in Adobe Acrobat

Hey! Are you listening to me?

Ever wonder if you're a boring/annoying person? Friend Mary points out this new technology targeted at autistic folk, but sure to be a boon for those of us suffering our own personal insecurities &c. I know one of my classmates could definitely do with some kind of feedback regarding her annoyance factor. On the other hand, about 80% of the time that I'm boring or irritating, I'm aware of it and ignore it, so this might not help me.

My fave line is: "When presented with fresh video clips, the software gets people's emotions right 90 per cent of the time when the clips are of actors, and 64 per cent of the time on footage of ordinary people."

What this tells me is that ordinary people are not adequately expressing their emotions, and that we need more training in how to do so in standardized ways.

At long, long last

I got an email from the Lenovo indicating that my new lappy is in transit. It has left Shenzen, China. However, after viewing the shipment history for the jump drive that I received in reverse temporal order, I am hesitant to claim victory yet.

9/27 Billing info received
9/27 Departure scan; Shenzen, CN
9/27 Hub scan; Guangzhou, CN
9/27 "THE SHIPMENT IS BEING HELD BY BROKERAGE FOR REASONS BEYOND UPS' CONTROL"; Louisville, KY, US
9/28 Departure scan; Guangzhou, CN
9/28 Arrival/Departure scans; Incheon, KR
9/28 Arrival scan; Anchorage, AK, US
9/29 Departure scan; Anchorage, AK, US
10/2 "THE SHIPMENT IS BEING HELD BY BROKERAGE FOR REASONS BEYOND UPS' CONTROL / BROKERAGE RELEASED SHIPMENT. SHIPMENT IS SUBMITTED TO CLEARING AGENCY FOR FURTHER CLEARANCE," then: Import and Departure scans; Louisville, KY, US
10/2 Arrival/Departure scans; Minneapolis, MN, US
10/2 Arrival scan; Eagan, MN, US
10/3 Departure scan; Eagan, MN, US
10/3 Arrival, attempted delivery; Rochester, MN, US
10/4 2nd attempt; Rochester, MN, US
10/5 Successful delivery; Rochester, MN, US

I wonder if I should have specified something like, "Deliver after 4pm to avoid those annoying failed attempts." Ah well. I've waited this long, I can wait an extra couple days.

Poll results

Q: Which of these most reliably conveys real events through audio-visual media?

A:
...Based on a true story: 2/13 (15%)
...Inspired by actual events: 1/13 (7%)
...Ripped from the headlines: 4/13 (30%)
...As seen on TV!: 1/13 (7%)
...BILLY MAYS!: 5/13 (38%)

TOTAL: 13/13 (97%)

I'm very disappointed to see that BILLY MAYS! had such a small margin of victory. I had fully expected BILLY MAYS! to take no less than 3/4 of the votes. I want you all to go to your room and think about what you've done, and we'll discuss this when your father gets home.

New poll will be out in the relatively near future. (Let's shoot for early next week, yes?)

New words I learn

I this morning wanted to see if the term "plus one" is defined anywhere in its nounular form, as used in Doctor Who (series 1, ep 2) when the Doctor says, "See, it says right here: 'The Doctor Plus One.' I'm the Doctor, and this is Rose Tyler. She's my Plus One." For the CDes Halloween party, good friend M. will be my Plus One, hence the relevance of the topic.

I went to UrbanDictionary.com - not necessarily a scholarly resource, but fun to peruse on occasion, and saw the term "fives" in a use I'd not previously known. Definition 3 is my fave, because it illustrates growth in the meaning of the term:

Defines a claim or ownership of a certain item. Originally used to define such a claim for 5 minutes, but is now commonly interchanged with the word dibs.

The one bit lacking from this is the bit about how it originated as a way of claiming rights to a seat so that one can go use the loo, refresh one's drinky, or the that.

Oh, and I never did find a prior use of "plus one" as a noun phrase.

Tech update update

Bizarre news on the wireless network in our studio. The hub they installed has improved signal strength and connectivity on the whole, but only when it isn't plugged in.

Reader response

The unidentified lurker I mentioned in yesterday's post expressed displeasure with that appellation, and requested/demanded an apology/retraction. So, Jessica, here it is. With deepest regrets, you are offered provisional non-lurker status. To verify your status as a non-lurker, please click the comments link below and indicate your desire to be reclassified as not a lurker.

Time-displacement shipping

I just got a note from Lenovo, the horrible company that I will never again order a product from, regarding my order. I ordered a laptop and, since the discount was good, a 2GB jump drive as well. I received the jump drive about two weeks ago, but last week noticed that its estimated shipping date was bumped back to 10/25 or something like that. The laptop, meanwhile, was pushed back to 10/29. There's been no update to the invoice since then.

The subject line of this morning's email is "Electronic Receipt for Invoice 6371498 -- shipped on 10/17/2007." I'm thinking, "Sweet! Finally they shipped the damn laptop."

Upon opening the note, however, I found that no, the item that was shipped yesterday was my jump drive. The one that is currently plugged in to this computer. Yeah, that one. It'll arrive in roughly 4 days via UPS. Well, 4 days or negative 2 weeks. Whichever.

Oh, wait:

It looks like it was delivered on the 5th. It's nice that Lenovo finally got me a tracking number for something I've had in my possession for two weeks. I wonder what happens if I click that "Quantum View" tab, and if that has anything to do with the temporal discrepancy.

I'm feeling a strong urge to cancel the order now just out of spite. At the very least I should call and bitch at them some more. But then I might get stuck on another committee.

New instructor characterizes student perfectly

Okay, okay - Has anyone yet coined the term "blogorrhea"? If not, I hereby do. But this I just HAD to share.

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EDIT: Apparently, "yes": this page provides a much more satisfactory definition than Urban Dictionary
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My metro design seminar is being taught by a relatively recent graduate of the MLA/MURP program here at the U, although he's roughly my age or maybe a little older. He's pretty cool, and the coolometer just spiked when I received a note about the projects we're presenting starting tomorrow.

We will be presenting to a mock planning commission, acting the role of planning staff. We review a project against subdivision and zoning ordinances, and then make a recommendation (approve, approve with conditions, deny).

So the instructor sent a note about the presentations, and added:

In order to make the mock planning commission meetings a little more interesting and hopefully fun, I created a character or role for each of you to play.

Here's mine:

Brain Fewell – local realtor known for pushing “affordable” housing, but has a second home in the penthouse on the top floor of the Carlisle in downtown Minneapolis. His penchant for living high is legendary and there have been rumors that his life style has exceeded his earnings due to the on-going housing slump. As any new development represents new sales commissions, Brian has never seen any project he doesn’t like and is ready to approve anything regardless of planning staff concerns. No apparent criminal record, at least as far as anyone knows.

I can't freakin' wait!

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EDIT: One of my classmate's descriptions starts with "Drawn to the city for the watersports, ..."
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Tech update

We have a wireless hub in our studio! WOOT!
Also, a few minutes ago the "mean girl" who's in charge of the computer lab came down here & replaced the 4 missing mice in this lab! WOOT!

It dawned on me ...

Oh, that was my ponderable: This "Age of Aquarius" thing. If the Piscean Age correlates strongly with the rise of Christianity, which is symbolized by the fish, what characteristics might one expect in an age characterized by the water-bearer? What does water "mean"? Rising seas, environmental issues, lots of urination? While I don't believe in the legitimacy of astrology as a "way of knowing" - I am, after all, a product of my culture and environment, and we are still living in a society dominated by Enlightenment principles that value human reason and our ability to know the world through empirical means. But cultural phenomena based in superstition fascinate me. While the mythologies of the Greeks and Romans are mere stories to us now, they left a rich literary and artistic legacy that we can still appreciate. The mythology of Christianity still clings, unfortunately, and disgusts me in its application, but I love the architectural heritage, and just last night I listened to Mozart's Requiem again. Simply amazing, yes. So umm... I don't remember where I was going - oh yeah - So, I wonder about that whole Aquarian thing. Ya know. As I do.

Randomness

The "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks made the Blogs of Note list today! This is far more exciting to me than it ought to be. Or rather, it is "far" more "exciting" to me than it "ought" to "be." iscanbe. Money.

I was contemplating something on the way over here this morning, something that was a "ponderable" or a "musing," (not to be confused with "amusing," though the two characteristics might intersect at times, and share ancestry), and it's completely gone now. One imagines it was something about school, or cities, or something else that's been on my mind a lot of late.

One of my classmates has passed out blank CDs to the rest of us with the request that we burn her a disc of our favorite music. While I presently lack the technology, I've started a list (every time I hear a song that I want to include, I write it down), and after the first few days, I had to get a 2nd disc from her. I might need to snag a couple more before this little side project is finished - which might not even happen until Christmas break.

I saw that billboard again this morning that says "Embryos are just tiny babies!" All I can think when I see that is "and you can sprinkle them on salads or breakfast cereal, just like Bacon Bits(TM)!"

I was thinking the other day about making a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Loves You - Unless You're Black or Gay." I don't think I'd put it on my car though....

Long time no post

I've gotten razzed by a lurker recently about not posting for nearly 2 weeks, so I figured it's time to drop a quick update.

In the past couple of weeks, I've changed my capstone project twice (and then changed it back). I've also bitched to administration at the departmental, college, and university levels, as well as to a handful of related organizations (the Council of Graduate Students (COGS), the Graduate and Professional Student Association (GAPSA), the Board of Regents) about unresolved issues in my department and the College of Design (CDes). The Dean of the college tried to cow me by invoking the abstraction of "the profession," and it was insinuated that I was "not going to be anyone's favorite person." Those responses, I think, are rooted in a misapprehension of my intentions. I'm not interested in these people being my friends - I'm interested in them doing their jobs.

Yesterday (Tues) I had a meeting with the Dean and the Director of Technology for CDes. My Director of Graduate Studies (DGS) was also there, as was one other LA student. The outcome? Well, the wireless situation in our studio will be resolved by the College at its own expense, since the organization that manages the campus network doesn't give a flying shit about students, and isn't interested in doing anything to provide service prior to upgrading the entire campus network. Nice, that. I wish I could just defer my coursework for several months too. I believe the word "assclowns" is appropriate here.

A huge issue in our department (and somewhat at the college level as well) is the poor dissemination of information from administration to students. Obviously, it's a two-way street - they need to make info available, and we need to take responsibility for accessing the info. The problem is that there is no clearly defined route for information dispersal. Amongst their methods are such elements as: a blog that I can't find, dozens of emails about everything from internships in Florida to guest speakers, signs posted in the computer lab indicating which printers are currently unavailable, the CDes lab web site, bulletin boards, and student mailboxes. My proposal was that each studio have a "studio rep" who meets with their department head on a regular basis (LA already has this - can guess who the rep is for my studio?), and that that person not only brings up concerns from studio ("the trash doesn't get emptied," and "mice ate my project") but also receives information from the department head and disperses it to their studio-mates. It gives that person more responsibility, but I think it's a good compromise.

And as a person who loves responsibility, I am happy to take on that in addition to now being our department's rep to the COGS and our newly-appointed student rep to the University's technology committee. Yeah, I got that one too. The COGS thing shouldn't be too bad - a couple hours once a month for a meeting that includes free food. The technology committee thing? Who knows - but looks good on a resume, right? "Please give me a job. I like to bitch about stuff and then get put on committees."

Is there a word that describes the experience or sensation of becoming what you most despise, or for the fear of becoming that thing?

REALLLY offensive jokes.

Seriously. I refuse, categorically RE-FYOOOZ to accept any bitching from anyone who highlights the punchlines and doesn't like what they see.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
Because if your name was "NNNGGAAAAAAAH," you'd run away too.

What's better than winning the gold medal at Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

College newspapers are (still) funny

In the "Oxymoronic Idealism" section today, "600 fast for hunger relief." I never thought of not-eating as an effective means of relieving hunger, but I guess I'm not a college student who enjoys pointless acts intended to raise awareness. I'm more the type who'd like to DO something about my hunger, so I typically just pop down to the vend-o-mat and grab a candy bar & a soda.

In the "You tattooed your WHAT!?" department: "Students getting tattooed on the rise." I can only assume that the word "rise" is a newfangled slang reference to a body part, since I don't know of any areas of campus referred to by that term - though I imagine The Knoll comes close. Then too, I've never seen any tattooing going on there.

If I had more time, I'd actually open the paper and find more craziness to document. Regretfully, I have to get this report written for my 9:05 class tomorrow morning. (Yes, they offer a semester-long class on the subject of 9:05. Really!)

Oh great, now all the supervillains know his weakness

How a breast becomes a law ...

bill becomes a nipple... legislation.

The Strib has a little "Have you heard?" box on the front of each day's paper, with snippets of recent news items. Today, the 2nd one reads, "Ohio state Rep. Matthew Barrett was giving a high school civics lesson when his memory stick revealed the image of a topless woman instead of his presentation on how a bill becomes law." Maybe he was going to be giving a presentation in Ms. Gymcoach's health class later that day, and just got them mixed up?

It doesn't tell us whether he's a Rebulitard or a Dummycrap - any guesses? The way these things usually go, I'm inclined to guess his name is followed by an (R), but really, it could go either way.... let's find out!

[Muzak version of the Rolling Stones' It's Only Rock 'N' Roll (But I Like It) plays while I search for more info]

The AP has a story that indicates (1) he's a Democrat and (2) (here's the real surprise) he has "no idea where these [images] came from." Of course he doesn't. How could he know what's on a portable memory device that contains a presentation he's going to give to a class of high school kids?

The obvious lesson here is that you should never accept gifts from legislative liaison from the state Library of Ohio.