Money that lights up!

There is nothing about this commercial that makes the remotest amount of sense. (The video is small, and the quality isn't great, but it's the script that matters - so listen carefully.)

Poll results

Q:
...Do you appreciate dead baby jokes?
A:
...Yes, they isbe hilarious. 2/3
...Yes, in the proper context. 0/3
...Yes, if I'm drunk and/or high. 0/3
...No, but just because most of them aren't funny. 1/3
...No, that's disgusting, sick, and wrong! 0/3

It's funny because it's true (update!)

I think this applies to me.

[edit]
Part of the reason that I thought this was so funny is that over the course of the past couple of weeks I've determined that I am, in fact, a dilettante in the general sense of the word. A dabbler. One who has a "broad but shallow attachment to any field." I know the word generally is taken in a negative sense nowadays, but it is, for better or worse, an accurate description of me based on my history. My next question is, what do I do with that realization?
[/edit]

It's not a get-rich-quick scheme, but guess what? I did!

Anyone else think I should set up an eGRQ system?

SIR! Merry Xmas, SIR!

Nutcrackers - of the old fashioned variety - are ugly and semi-creepy as it is, but at least they have some cultural significance. Then again, traditions change up with the times, right? With that in mind, I give you, courtesy of Target Corp:



Merry Xmas!

Poll results

Yes, I know it's been a while, but I have an excuse. I think... anyhoo - to the business at hand:

Q: Which of these is NOT a tongue twister in Irish?

A:
(a) There is a chicken standing in the snow on a frosty day. (2/8, 25%)
(b) A black ox ate a raw egg in heaven. (2/8, 25%)
(c) The skunk rolled down the hill and ruptured its larynx. (4/8, 50%)
(d) Mary laughed shamelessly at the wake in Derry last year. (0/8, 0%)

The correct answer is (c), which, I'm told, is a tongue twister in a different language (though at present I don't remember which one).

Snickers marketing staff fails linguistics

If you've had a Snickers(R) bar lately, you've noticed stupid words on the bottom of the wrapper. Words like peanutopolis, snicktastic, and satisfactionable. I may have made up two of those, but I found one with peanutopolis the other day. The inside of the wrapper includes a definition of the term, and this one revealed that peanutopolis means "a state of mind making you fell very strong and powerful, almost mayor-like." As a side-bar, this presumes that mayors are always strong and powerful. This assumption is false, but let's address the more glaring issue. "Peanutopolis" incorporates the suffix -opolis, meaning "city." So, "City of Peanuts" seems like a more appropriate definition. I can only assume that the word "snicktastic" might mean "tights worn by strippers in Hanoi."

The answer is "No."

Here's the question.

False alarm - there is no god!

Or, "I'm borderline retarded."

Cars don't start when they are in D. The short version of the story is: I was apparently so flustered by the not-rolling-down window thing that I put the car into the parking space, futzed a little more with the window, then turned the car off. The part I missed is shifting from D to P. So when I came back out and the car didn't start, it was my own fault.

I noticed when I was going to put the car into N for the tow guy that it was in D.

Yeah, I'm an idiot.

I was wrong - there apparently is a god

There's at least one supernatural entity that can exert control over events in the world. There might be more than one, but I know with certainty that there's at least one. For the sake of convenience, I'll call it "god" and use the pronoun "he." Let me tell you a little bit about him.

He's an asshole, and he hates me. Actually, neither of those descriptors is adequate in degree to convey his level of assholery and his hatred for me. But, being supernatural and beyond our understanding, it stands to reason that he would exceed our understanding in every possible way.

It's been a shitty semester. Granted, much of the difficulty I've had is self-inflicted. I won't bore you with the details. Suffice it to say, I'm an idiot. So I've got four projects that are due by Wednesday. One of them I'm pretty well done with - I'll need to do a bit of a redraft, but it won't be more than an hour or two's work. The other three will require a lot more effort. I'm so far behind on my studio project that I'm not even sure I should bother trying to finish it. My capstone proposal book? I have a draft of the text, but no images ready, and nothing resembling a layout. I haven't even started reading the sources for my GIS paper - 8-10 pages, due next Tuesday. (Yeah, I know - I could be doing that right now, while I wait for the tow truck. Fuck off.)

So what happens tonight? Let's recap: I left the studio around 10:20, waited for a bus, and then got to my car, & started it. I was starving, so figured I'd grab a burger at the Dinkytown McDonalds. The first problem was the window - my drivers-side window wouldn't open. Must be frozen shut. Other windows open, just not that one. Well, that's annoying. I'll just park and go in to grab my food. Which I do. When I get back to the car, I turn the key. Fan starts blowing, radio comes on, lights light up, but the engine doesn't start. It doesn't even try. Looks like my starter is shot. Never mind that it worked just fine 5 minutes earlier. So there goes a couple hundred bucks. Nice.

Do I need this shit right now? I guess so. Apparently my life is too carefree. Fucking kill me.

This comes on the heels of a number of frustrations with technology. Long story short, Adobe can lick my shit-stained asscrack. Apparently they don't figure compatibility between versions of their products is an issue they need to worry about. I fucking hate those fuckwads, and their fucking shitfucking software.

Did I mention that god hates me? I'm not willing to accept that all of this shit happening to me is the result of random consequence. Fuck you, god. Eat shit and die.