Poll results

Q: Which of these most reliably conveys real events through audio-visual media?

A:
...Based on a true story: 2/13 (15%)
...Inspired by actual events: 1/13 (7%)
...Ripped from the headlines: 4/13 (30%)
...As seen on TV!: 1/13 (7%)
...BILLY MAYS!: 5/13 (38%)

TOTAL: 13/13 (97%)

I'm very disappointed to see that BILLY MAYS! had such a small margin of victory. I had fully expected BILLY MAYS! to take no less than 3/4 of the votes. I want you all to go to your room and think about what you've done, and we'll discuss this when your father gets home.

New poll will be out in the relatively near future. (Let's shoot for early next week, yes?)

College newspapers are fun

The Minnesota Daily, our university newspaper, has a "question of the week" in today's edition. The question is something about YouTube, blah blah words, but the fun part is at the end.

[Student name] said, however, that too many people are posting videos for recognition rather than to get a valid point across.

"I feel like people aren't (posting videos on YouTube) to get things across, but just to get recognition," she said.

Buy stuff. DO IT!

"Product placement" - a nice little euphemism for "advertising disguised as something else" - has gotten so pervasive, and it's really starting to annoy me. I suppose it's inevitable in a society of the money, by the money, and for the money, but at what point do people say "ENOUGH!"? (I am intrigued by Adbusters, but what impact have they had?) I doubt I can just stop buying everything that annoys me with its marketing. (Although A-1 steak sauce is off the list, and I won't really miss it. I actually don't even like the idea of subjecting you, dear reader, to that ad, but I must share the annoyance!)

I've bitched about this before - ads in menus, 3 minutes of ads ahead of the trailers at a movie, name dropping on TV programs (e.g., T-Mobile (regularly) and Home Depot (recently) on The Closer - otherwise one of the best shows that's ever been on TV), designed into clothes, ads being transmitted into our dreams - oh, wait - that one's not real...yet.

I'm surfing the internets and the TV is tuned to the Science Channel. And there's this show about building stuff - they're talking about roller coasters tonight. The show starts out with the host doing a voice over about how after he graduated from college, he wanted to "learn the stuff you don't find in books" or some such. During this voice over, wherein he uses words that connote rugged masculinity, they show him walking across a desert landscape backed by towering mountains, toward his black Toyota Tundra. Then he takes off, leaving a trail of dust, and the camera zooms in on the Toyota emblem on the grille.

Ben pointed out: Hey, at least Toyota's sponsoring a program about science/engineering, rather than some "reality" tripe. Which is a valid point, yes. But why can't they say "This program is sponsored in part by Toyota blah blah blah"? Why the conceit of an ad, with all its psychological bs? (Is it ironic that Toyota is also listed as a sponsor for The Closer?)

Oh, then, just to piss me off a little bit more, he comes to Minnesota, to look at some bigass roller coaster at Valley Fair... IN A SNOWSTORM. WTF?!? COME ON!

Better living through chemistry

I just saw this ad for Requip, which is supposed to relieve restless leg syndrome. I've experienced RLS, but not a severe case - a bit of walking keeps it under control. I'd hate to be one of the poor bastards who has to resort to this crap, after hearing that list of side effects.

Here's a hilarious spoof (adult language).

Date night = marketer's dream

I mentioned that we saw Stardust over the weekend (by the way - if you are thinking about seeing it, do!). I forgot to say that we arrived about one minute after showtime, during an ad for Dell computers. Then we sat through three more ads, including one for Verizon and a REALLY annoying one for gum. Why are ticket prices still so high (6$ for a matinee) if I'm having to watch all these ads too? It makes me think of this scene from Futurama. Fry doesn't mention "menus" though. "Dinner and a movie" is apparently the perfect time to try selling people stuff.

Girl fashion

One of the writers over at Slate took her 11-year-old daughter shopping for clothes for the new school year. Read the hilarity! It reminds me of this scene from Family Guy (a bit risqué - turn speakers down if you're at work).

Choice quotes:
It's a comfort to know that if your child can't come up with her own insolent remarks, clothing manufacturers are there to help.

Down the corridor was Abercrombie itself, whose guiding fashion principle seemed to be to print or appliqué the word Abercrombie in the largest letters possible on as much of the clothing as possible.

On our way to our next destination, I tried to avert her eyes from the Victoria's Secret window, where their clothing was emblazoned with the words "University of Pink." (I don't want to know that school's most popular major.)

If I have to choose between Baby Phat and Juicy Couture, I choose mandatory school uniforms.

But when I tried to push some [Old Navy t-shirts] on my daughter, she shook her head. "How can they make a plain T-shirt look bad?"

(At Talbot's (WASP couture), looking for pants): My daughter shook her head. "They're like nautical pants. They're so ugly." Then I held up a pair of beige polyester pants that looked reasonable to me. "Mom, I'm 11!" she said. "I'm not Harriet Miers!"

Hangin' with the guys

I've mentioned that I don't understand a lot of advertisements. This ad for Viagra is a perfect example. I think it can be summed up as: "Hey guys, I'm so excited about my E.D. - let's jam!" One blogger has commented on it sufficiently that I don't feel I need to expand on it.

This one for Sunsilk shampoo, on the other hand, is hilarious - in a good way. I need that stuff.

The Star Trek Horror Picture Show

Pharyngula posts this video. Worth a look.

Hyperparenting gone awry

From Slate:

A study suggests "Baby Einstein" and other baby videos are bad for kids. Findings: 1) "32% of the babies were shown the videos, and 17% of those were shown them for more than an hour a day." 2) "For every hour per day spent watching baby DVDs and videos, infants understood an average of six to eight fewer words than infants who did not watch them." Theories: 1) By spending time with "DVDs and TV instead of with people," the babies lose interaction with humans who "instinctively adjust their speech, eye gaze and social signals to support language acquisition." 2) Baby DVDs are worse than educational TV shows, because the DVDs "have little dialogue, short scenes, disconnected pictures and … linguistically indescribable images." Researcher's conclusion: Your kid is better off watching American Idol with you than watching Baby Einstein alone. Human Nature's view: You knew Baby Einstein had to be poison when President Bush extolled it. (To join the discussion, click here.)

Is that "I" as in "International," or "l" as in "clam"?

A while back I mentioned this blog dedicated to the inappropriate use of the lowercase "L". Today I went to Ask.com and entered the search term "CIAM" - an acronym for Congres Internationaux d'Architecture Moderne (or, auf Englisch: the International Congress of Modern Architecture).

Ask.com has done a lot of advertising lately (some creepier than others - does anyone else think those Kato Kaelin impersonators look like the kid from Mask?) touting their algorithm that helps you precisify your search to find exactly what you're looking for. My question is this: What do "Clam Chowder" and "Clam Anatomy" have to do with the cold, dehumanizing steel and glass of Modernist architecture?

Inappropriate use of vernacular gestures

This video at YouTube is not explicit, but probably not appropriate for the workplace. Nonetheless, it's completely hilarious, if slightly vulgar. Okay, more like moderately vulgar.

News around the world

I've decided that every once in a while, I'm going to check out cnn.com just to have something to blog about. It seems there's no shortage of crap going on in the world.

I think my fave story of the day is this video (very mildly disturbing, mostly just annoying) about a 17-year-old Iraqi girl. Religion has contributed so much good to the world, and continues to do so, as the clip so clearly illustrates.

Berries and cream

For those of you unfamiliar with the "berries & cream" reference (which sounds kind of dirty out of context), I offer to share the joy.