Huckabee loses all remaining credibility

First some backstory:

Mike Huckabee is seeking the Republican nomination for the 2008 Presidential election. As Ben commented, the man does have charisma. Sadly, he lacks any concept of reality: he doesn't accept the scientific validity of evolution, but rather accepts as fact the mythology that an the Christian god created the world blah blah blah. That alone is enough for him to fall off my radar.

But he's also been entertaining, particularly in his ongoing partnership with Stephen Colbert. On numerous occasions, he has confirmed his intent to name Mr. Colbert as his running mate if he receives the Republican nomination. Now, if you've seen the Colbert Report at all, you have some sense of what Mr. Huckabee got himself into. But last night, watching the rebroadcast of the Jan 9th, 2008 edition of the Colbert Report, you can actually see the moment the Huckabee goes from legitimate presidential candidate to farcical impersonation of a presidential candidate. Check out the video labeled "Stephen reunites with his running mate, Mike Huckabee." (I have to admit, I love the visual image of a pneumatic tube shooting illegal immigrants into Mexico.)

Despite the fact that I have significant readership, and that I have no history as a political prognosticator, I'm going to forecast that Huckabee has pretty much eliminated himself from the running (not that I'm complaining - we don't need another Jesus freak in the White House.)

Life is horrible

...but despair.com makes it fun!

I especially like this line: "Clothes make the man. These clothes make the man sad."
Need a 2008 calendar? Build your own!

Poll results

Q:
...Do you appreciate dead baby jokes?
A:
...Yes, they isbe hilarious. 2/3
...Yes, in the proper context. 0/3
...Yes, if I'm drunk and/or high. 0/3
...No, but just because most of them aren't funny. 1/3
...No, that's disgusting, sick, and wrong! 0/3

It's funny because it's true (update!)

I think this applies to me.

[edit]
Part of the reason that I thought this was so funny is that over the course of the past couple of weeks I've determined that I am, in fact, a dilettante in the general sense of the word. A dabbler. One who has a "broad but shallow attachment to any field." I know the word generally is taken in a negative sense nowadays, but it is, for better or worse, an accurate description of me based on my history. My next question is, what do I do with that realization?
[/edit]

Long time no post (again)

Anyone who would like to offer congrats on me ending this 11-day gap in posts, here's a suggested method. It's been a while (school does that to ya). What's new with me, then? Mostly school - hell, what am I saying? I've done nothing but school. Spent a weekend in Seattle recently, which was fun. Got some photos, saw some stuff. I found that it's a really easy city to navigate, and has a radically different feel from New York. In many ways I like NYC better, but Seattle is a much younger city, more open, more "hip." I could live in either one, but I don't know that I'd make it in NYC longer than 3 or 4 years. I could see myself in the Seattle area for the long term. Ben has applied for a job in Kent, which is a bit south of the SeaTac airport. Fortunately, I already know which bus route runs between Kent and downtown Seattle.

Worst. Directions. Ever. (Graphics edition!)

In preparation for my new lappy, I'm checking out the bargain-priced Micro$~1 software available through the U. On the main page of the University Computer Services web site, I noticed the link "Where can I park at UCS?" The graphic they've put together to point out their parking spaces is hilarious. (I'll post it here, since who knows if it'll disappear after word gets around that the Lady with a Hat, Arbiter of eQuality, has dissed them.)

All your web sites are belong to us

Way back in the day, when I was a surly, unmannered LVS at One BM, our documentation had to be translated into multiple foreign languages. We sent it off to the translation centers (one of which may or may not have had herpes), and waited for them to send the foreign-language versions back. (Sidebar: how would you outsource that? Would you have India do all the translations, or would you have the work done by college students studying the corresponding language?)

My understanding is that the bulk of the translation was done by computer programs that would flag problem areas for a real person to examine. This was a big reason we needed to be careful about word choices ("Execute the command," for example, might transl(iter)ate in unusual ways.)

Anyway, it looks like machine translation has not progressed much in the intervening years, as evidenced here. The Duisburg-Nord Landschaftspark is built on an old industrial site in Duisburg Nord, Germany. The designer (Peter Latz) took a unique approach to recycling filthy industrial urban land, and this park is one of my precedent studies for my capstone project. (Fun side note: The translated version of the park's official web site indicates that its size is 200 acres. In actual fact, it's 230 hectares, or just under 570 acres.)

Powerful new functionality in Adobe Acrobat

Randomness

The "blog" of "unnecessary" quotation marks made the Blogs of Note list today! This is far more exciting to me than it ought to be. Or rather, it is "far" more "exciting" to me than it "ought" to "be." iscanbe. Money.

I was contemplating something on the way over here this morning, something that was a "ponderable" or a "musing," (not to be confused with "amusing," though the two characteristics might intersect at times, and share ancestry), and it's completely gone now. One imagines it was something about school, or cities, or something else that's been on my mind a lot of late.

One of my classmates has passed out blank CDs to the rest of us with the request that we burn her a disc of our favorite music. While I presently lack the technology, I've started a list (every time I hear a song that I want to include, I write it down), and after the first few days, I had to get a 2nd disc from her. I might need to snag a couple more before this little side project is finished - which might not even happen until Christmas break.

I saw that billboard again this morning that says "Embryos are just tiny babies!" All I can think when I see that is "and you can sprinkle them on salads or breakfast cereal, just like Bacon Bits(TM)!"

I was thinking the other day about making a bumper sticker that says "Jesus Loves You - Unless You're Black or Gay." I don't think I'd put it on my car though....

REALLLY offensive jokes.

Seriously. I refuse, categorically RE-FYOOOZ to accept any bitching from anyone who highlights the punchlines and doesn't like what they see.

Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?
Because if your name was "NNNGGAAAAAAAH," you'd run away too.

What's better than winning the gold medal at Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.

Oh great, now all the supervillains know his weakness

How a breast becomes a law ...

bill becomes a nipple... legislation.

The Strib has a little "Have you heard?" box on the front of each day's paper, with snippets of recent news items. Today, the 2nd one reads, "Ohio state Rep. Matthew Barrett was giving a high school civics lesson when his memory stick revealed the image of a topless woman instead of his presentation on how a bill becomes law." Maybe he was going to be giving a presentation in Ms. Gymcoach's health class later that day, and just got them mixed up?

It doesn't tell us whether he's a Rebulitard or a Dummycrap - any guesses? The way these things usually go, I'm inclined to guess his name is followed by an (R), but really, it could go either way.... let's find out!

[Muzak version of the Rolling Stones' It's Only Rock 'N' Roll (But I Like It) plays while I search for more info]

The AP has a story that indicates (1) he's a Democrat and (2) (here's the real surprise) he has "no idea where these [images] came from." Of course he doesn't. How could he know what's on a portable memory device that contains a presentation he's going to give to a class of high school kids?

The obvious lesson here is that you should never accept gifts from legislative liaison from the state Library of Ohio.

Het honey, let's go hu---ummm...

I just need the headboard, thanks. (A classmate found this while looking for a bed.)

Rock, paper, scissors, dynamite, tornado, cockroach, quicksand, law, peace, snake, ...

Ahh, the old game of Rock-Paper-Scissors... perfect for making those tough life decisions: Who's going to make dinner? Whose turn is it to ask for an abortion? Which person gets a new desk? But what if we threw a couple more choices in there?

RPS-25 was created to provide a more complex game with more possible outcomes. Each item is dominant over 12 others, and the result is 300 possible outcomes. But why stop there? The inventor of RPS-25 took things 76 steps further & gave us RPS-101. Each gesture defeats 50 of the remaining 100, the result being a total of 5,050 possible outcomes.

Some of my favorites:
DYNAMITE explodes BABY (actually, DYNAMITE explodes a lot of stuff....)
SPIDER in your BEER
BEER diffracts LASER
MATH confuses PRINCESS
MATH enrages MONKEY
SCISSORS alert AIRPLANE security
and any of the BRAIN ones....
BRAIN invents BUTTER
....... foils VAMPIRE
....... performs MATH

Seen on a bus this a.m.

This morning I saw this image on the side of a city bus. I giggled because I saw it as a figurative representation of one method to prevent fetal alcohol syndrome: don't get pregnant. Then I realized they didn't intend it that way. Oops!

*I didn't have time time snap a photo, but pulled the imaged from the Minnesota Organization on Fetal Alcohol Syndrome web site.

Better living through chemistry

I just saw this ad for Requip, which is supposed to relieve restless leg syndrome. I've experienced RLS, but not a severe case - a bit of walking keeps it under control. I'd hate to be one of the poor bastards who has to resort to this crap, after hearing that list of side effects.

Here's a hilarious spoof (adult language).

Time, apparently, is relative

In today's mail we received this item from a local furniture store. It's a standard flyer of the sort businesses mail out to solicit business. But this one has a curious instruction printed at along the top of the envelope.



It's a good thing it got here today! But if it hadn't, no biggie. Y'know - within a day or so is fine.

Hangin' with the guys

I've mentioned that I don't understand a lot of advertisements. This ad for Viagra is a perfect example. I think it can be summed up as: "Hey guys, I'm so excited about my E.D. - let's jam!" One blogger has commented on it sufficiently that I don't feel I need to expand on it.

This one for Sunsilk shampoo, on the other hand, is hilarious - in a good way. I need that stuff.

I can has explanation?

From Language Log, we learn about this memo from the Walt Bettinger, President and COO of Charles Schwab:

On August 16, you may have experienced difficulty accessing Schwab online or through our phone centers as a result of our systems slowdown. We want to apologize and let you know what happened.

In the process of expanding system capacity earlier that morning, a systems slowdown occurred. As a result, if you tried to access Schwab online or via the phone, you may have experienced slower-than-normal service, or in some cases, may have been unable to access our services at all.

Read Geoffrey K. Pullam's reaction and (and explanation) here.

Comics roundup

Get Fuzzy is great.
-- Bucky (the cat) expresses something I've long believed but have lacked the ability to articulate.
-- Political jokes.

Cat and Girl is often hilarious.
-- This is why I buy Powerball tickets once in a while.
-- Oscar Wilde, updated for the Spring Break set.

Dinosaur Comics should never be missed. Don't forget to mouse-over the image for an extra fun message. (If it trails off in ellipses, you'll need to right-click and select Properties to see the whole thing - it's worth it.)
-- Etymology: The best story wins.
-- T-Rex is a Web Architect.
-- T-Rex gets kinky.