What's the poop?

No, really.

Better living through chemistry

I just saw this ad for Requip, which is supposed to relieve restless leg syndrome. I've experienced RLS, but not a severe case - a bit of walking keeps it under control. I'd hate to be one of the poor bastards who has to resort to this crap, after hearing that list of side effects.

Here's a hilarious spoof (adult language).

Hangin' with the guys

I've mentioned that I don't understand a lot of advertisements. This ad for Viagra is a perfect example. I think it can be summed up as: "Hey guys, I'm so excited about my E.D. - let's jam!" One blogger has commented on it sufficiently that I don't feel I need to expand on it.

This one for Sunsilk shampoo, on the other hand, is hilarious - in a good way. I need that stuff.

How to not get melanoma

An article at Slate discusses tanning, focusing primarily on recent research about whether or not UV light is addictive.

Near the bottom of the first page, they have a section titled 2) Does sunscreen protect against melanoma? The short answer looks to be "No*." But pay attention to this statement:

the findings don't hold true for melanoma (subscription required)

So all I have to do to avoid melanoma is not subscribe? How hard can that be? Are there any other health risks that I could cancel my subscription to? Is there a toll-free number for this stuff? What about good health? Can I subscribe to that too? (I'll take the 3% body fat, the 6-pack abs, and the highest metabolism you've got. Could I also see the Joints menu? I'm thinking about new knees.)

*It may, in fact, increase your risk of developing melanoma, because until recently, most sunscreens only blocked UVB, not UVA. Some researchers wonder if UVA is the (primary) electromagnetic cause of melanoma, and so blocking UVB did no good against it - and in fact, by preventing sunburn and creating a false sense of security, encouraged people to stay out longer, absorbing even more UVA. That's one hypothesis, at least.

Coming soon: How to not get megalomania!

In the news

I went to the City Pages web site to search for an article about the Heritage Park housing project northwest of downtown Minneapolis. On their front page, I saw that yesterday's Morning Communiqué notes "a recent study links diet soft drinks with obesity." We learn that researchers were surprised at the "unexpected" finding that drinkers of diet soda have health risks similar to those of their sugar-guzzling compatriots. (I thought scientists were supposed be smart. I guess this is where we differentiate between "book larnin' and "common sense." Maybe they just lack imagination?)

The results may simply signal that the diet-soda drinkers in the study were less healthy to start with [Really? You mean diet soda doesn't instantly cure what ails ya? But I've been chugging "Uncle Coke's Diet Tonic and Elixir" for years! Rats!], and they had turned to sugar-free beverages to help with weight loss or because they had diabetes. The study investigators, who oversee the respected Framingham Heart Study in Massachusetts, noted also that the type of person who drinks diet soda may be more likely to eat less-healthful foods [DUH, anyone?]. But they also cited research suggesting that artificially sweetened beverages may affect a person's satiety or cravings for sweets.

The other neat thing I found was "Playing the popular Chinese tile game mahjong can lead to seizures, Hong Kong researchers say, calling the phenomenon 'mahjong epilepsy.'" Video gamers are vindicated!

Then there's: "Judy Hagan caused a stir among plot owners in the Uniontown (IN) City Cemetery when she put up a tombstone for her and her departed rat terrier, Shithead."

And, finally: "A man named Johnson underoges a vasectomy in exchange for getting permission from his wife to purchase an iPhone."

Am I a bad person?

Well, duh. But specifically, am I a bad person for enjoying/laughing about this news about Chief Supreme Court Justice John Roberts having a seizure?

The WebMD article mentions "Roberts fell on the dock and sustained scrapes." "On the dock." In other words, he was this close [audio] to falling into the water, where he might have drowned.

Today I went to see - ooh! that dog has a poofy tail!

Today I went back to my pusher, after 5 weeks of taking a higher dose of Wellbutrin and shifting my Depakote to bedtime. These changes were made in an effort to address my inability to concentrate, which in turn is interfering with my summer class work. So, 5 weeks later, no noticeable improvement has occurred. I said, "I'd really like to get some kind of stimulant (like ritalin) to see if that helps." Of course, being the ethical physician that he is, he refuses to hand out drugs without at least some diagnostic evidence of the problem in question. My question is, what's wrong with "reverse-diagnosis"? Give me the drug, if the problem goes away, then that must be what's wrong with me!

So tomorrow I go in to take the TOVA - Test of Variable Attention, and then after they get it scored (Thursday) he will (if the results indicate appropriately) have me pick up a pill, which I will then take on Friday morning before re-taking the TOVA.

Of course, in the midst of all this, my primary concern is getting this coursework done. GRRR!

Binge blogging

I went for a few days there early this month with no entries. I was feeling like crap and avoiding the world, spending as much time as possible unconscious. Now in the past 3 days I've made 9 posts (out of the 13 for this month). Granted, a couple of them are of the Tourette's variety, but still. I'm wondering if friends will be staging an intervention and sending me into a 12-step program. I'm concerned about my ability to control my blogging. I keep telling myself, "I can tell when I've had enough. I can quit when I want to. I'm in control, really." But I'm not sure if I believe it.

Will ours be one of the thousands of homes torn apart by blogging? If I over-blog, will I become abusive and mean? Is this going to affect my ability to hold a job? Can those people over there smell the blog on my breath? Is that an alien-Elvis hybrid watching me from that unmarked government surveillance vehicle!?

AAAAAGGGGHHHH!

Did you just eat a colon polyp?

Just saw a commercial on the telly from the American Cancer Society. Three people in a diner, all in their 50s, two women & one guy. The guy says something about getting tested for colon cancer as a preventive measure, & one of the women says, "How can getting tested prevent you from getting cancer?" The guy says, "I'll show you." (Yeah, I'm skeptical at this point too, but it's Sunday morning. How bad can it be??)

So he uses is spoon to trace an "S" through his mashed potatoes, and then puts a lima bean near one end. He says, "They look in your colon, and if they find a polyp, they take it out before it becomes cancerous." Then he scoops out the lima bean & eats it.

This might encourage me to get my colon checked for polyps, but I think the lima bean farmers of the world might be ticked about the sudden drop in demand. Plus, what is the doctor going to do with the polyps after he takes them out....?