An awesome reason to not have a credit card

Credit card companies will fuck you.

Food Network has officially crossed the line

Lately, Food Network has been getting on my nerves. For the longest time I enjoyed a number of their programs. Examples: on Good Eats, Alton Brown is brilliant - he makes every aspect of cooking entertaining and educational. Rachel Ray was cool when she was limited to 30-Minute Meals and $40 A Day. But then there was Paula Deen, whose accent alone is proof that evil incarnate can be embodied in sound. But hey, I don't need to watch what I don't like, right? Then they brought me the joy of Iron Chef America - corny, reasonably entertaining, and not too annoying (at first). If you're familiar with the program at all, you'll no doubt realize it's rapidly getting out of control, like a nuclear reactor sans inanimate carbon control rods. It's taking itself far too seriously. (And don't get me started on the new Iron Chef's Hibbertesque giggle.) And Rachel Ray appears to have been injected with huge quantities of "Yummo" (by Nabisco). I think she's trying to be like Martha Stewart, minus the stick up her ass.

One of their more recent "personalities" is this guy, whose appearance alone makes me change the channel. Seriously, step away from the peroxide, and no one gets hurt. During a commercial break, he helped out some poor schmuck whose cranberry sauce is apparently too tart. His prescription included the use of a Food Network skillet, available now at Kohl's. Did I mention that this "help the dork on the street" piece was interrupted by an ad for Food Network brand cookware, available only at Kohl's?

My Xmas wish list

It would be nice if people would take seriously the issue of consumption. Adbusters has been trying to publicize the issue for years, and one of their classic anti-events is coming up this Friday. Yes, it's Buy Nothing Day, the day you avoid crowded malls and hyped-up bullshit. Another proposed activity is Buy Nothing Christmas. The site tells us: "Buy Nothing Christmas is not really about refusing to spend a dime over the holiday season. It’s about taking a deep breath and deciding to opt out of the hype‚ the overcrowded malls‚ and the stressful to–do lists. It’s about reminding ourselves to really think about what we are buying‚ why we are buying it‚ and whether we really need it at all."

This is an idea that I completely support, for a couple of reasons. First, I hate the shopping. Second, I hate trying to come up with ideas for what other people should by for me. Third, I have so much stuff already. A lot of the stuff I have - whether received as a gift or purchased by myself, sits around and never is used. Yet at the time, I "needed" it. Hell, I still find myself "needing" stuff, or just wanting things enough to say, "Fuckit, I'm buyin' that."

Simultaneously, I'm a huge fan of the bounty that capitalism has produced in this country. Apparently, I contain multitudes.

Now, a lot of people out there will argue that anti-consumerism is akin to communism, or is illogical (if I literally consume nothing, I'll die, for example), or is it's own form of hyped-up bullshit and or hypocrisy. And I'm not going to engage that, because it would be pointless. I think the biggest argument I can make is that it's not about anti-consumerism, but rather mindful consumerism. Think about your consumption and its consequences. It's not easy, but if we start paying attention, and teaching our kids to pay attention, maybe in a couple of generations people will find it easier to consume less. Assuming they aren't too busy fighting each other over puddles of filthy water.

Greetings second-class citizen! Welcome to America!

Ben will be posting more about this shortly (and I'll include a link when he does), but he found out today that his company decided that they'd make a tiny change to their benefits offerings this year. They no longer pay ANY of the premium for domestic partner coverage, leaving the entire cost (around $5K for the year) to the employee. Lucky for us, I can get coverage through the U for a lot less than that, and it looks like it'll be as good as what I'm getting now. Isn't it great that we live in a country where everyone is treated as equal, except for those of us who aren't?

Postcard from Bizarro World

Hi all, having a great time. Installed MS Office 2007, and am loving it! The new interface is quite a bit different, but pretty intuitive and (gasp!) easy to use. If Vista is this much better than XP, they may give Apple a run for their money. Word to your mother!
XOXO
B

First blog with the new lappy

My first entry from the new lappy, whom I've dubbed "Smurfette."

Time for a rant: So I'm looking at maybe upgrading from Adobe Creative Suite 2 (hereafter referred to as "CS2") to CS3. CS3 has some spiffy new featureness and functionality, but of course it's pricey. There are actually a variety of CS3 packages available that combine different programs for different user groups. There's a "Design" package, a "Web" package, and a "Production" package, and each is available in both "Standard" and "Premium" editions. The Premium edition adds a couple extra bells/whistles. If you want to go whole hog, you can also splurge for the "Master Collection," which bundles pretty much everything. After looking through the options, I determined that my needs are perfectly met by the Design Standard package. It's got precisely what I need - nothing more, nothing less.

So, I should upgrade, rather than pay for the whole package, right? Of course! Saves money, etc etc. Hmm. According to the site, regular retail for the full version is $1200, and the upgrade is $400. Ahh, but I'm a student, and can get the education pricing. Let's see... full version, $400, and upgrade ... huh. I don't see a price for the upgrade. I look around some more, and find nothing, so I decide to call customer service and find out if they have an education discount for the upgrade.

Note: The following transcript is paraphrased, and heavily expurgated in the interest of me not typing 14 minutes worth of boring crap.

*RING* Thank you for calling Adobe blah blah words. Your call will be answered something something. *RING* *RING*
Customer Service Rep [with strong Indian accent]: Hello, thank you for calling Adobe Customer Service, my name is Victor, may I have your customer number?
Me: I don't have a customer number, I'm just calling to ask a question about pricing.
Victor: Okay, and how can I help you?
Me: Right now I have the education version of Creative Suite 2, and I'm interested in upgrading to CS3. I'm wondering if there's an education discount for the upgrade.
Victor: Okay, before I can answer this, I need to create a record for you, so I will be creating a record now, okay?
[I give him my name, address, email address, DOB, SSN, TLA, IBM, LOL, and most recent sperm count. This requires me repeating a lot of things, and spelling out "3rd". Seriously. Then he gives me a customer number. I've been numerated! At last!]
Victor: Okay, and what can I help you with today sir?
Me: [repeats request, provides additional info such as: operating system, exact product I'm looking at (CS3 Design Standard), mother's maiden name, and US citizenship status.]
Victor: Okay, I am understanding that you have Creative Suite 2 Premium on Windows XP ... (he basically repeats back to me everything that I told him - I've noticed these Indian customer service reps do that - which is probably a good thing, because it verifies that he got the information right, but it's kind of annoying after the 2nd time.)
Me: Yes, and I want to know if there's a discount for educational purchases on the upgrade.
Victor: Okay, while I do research for this, I will put you on hold, okay? Please be on the line.
Me: (holding)
Victor: Okay, sir, I can give you good news, you want to upgrade [blah blah], and you can do that. So, is there anything else I can help you with today?
Me: I was wondering about the pricing --
Victor: Okay, the pricing for the upgrade is dollar three hundred ninety-nine, and for the full version it is dollar one thousand one hundred ninety-nine.
Me: Right, but is there an education discount on the upgrade?
Victor: I do not know that information, but I can transfer you to the sales where they would be the best place to give you that information. So please be on the line.
Me: (holding)
Sales guy (obviously American): Thank you for calling Adobe Sales, my name is Noah. Do you have a customer number?
Me: Yes I do. (tells him number)
Noah: And what can I do for you today?
Me: I currently have Creative Suite 2, which I bought through the university where I'm a student right now, and I am thinking about upgrading to CS3. And I see that the regular price for the upgrade is $399, and the educational pricing for the full product is also $399.
Noah with a bit of a chuckle: (says something about how silly that seems)
Me: I was wondering if there's an educational discount for the upgrade.
Noah: Unfortunately, we don't offer education pricing for the upgrade.
Me: Okay, that's all I needed to know. Thanks.
Noah: Thank you for calling Adobe, have a nice day.

So basically, in four seconds, the American guy was able to answer the question I couldn't get resolved in 14 minutes with the other guy.

My experience with Lenovo customer service was pretty much the same: Talk to someone in India for several minutes, get nowhere, get transferred to someone in the U.S., problems solved almost immediately. Also, there is a pattern of customer service being based in India, and sales being in the U.S. I guess this is because once they've got your money, you're screwed, and have to take whatever crappy service they dish out. But when you're a prospective customer, they want to give you an actual good experience with the company, so they have you deal with Americans. Jerks.

At long, long last

I got an email from the Lenovo indicating that my new lappy is in transit. It has left Shenzen, China. However, after viewing the shipment history for the jump drive that I received in reverse temporal order, I am hesitant to claim victory yet.

9/27 Billing info received
9/27 Departure scan; Shenzen, CN
9/27 Hub scan; Guangzhou, CN
9/27 "THE SHIPMENT IS BEING HELD BY BROKERAGE FOR REASONS BEYOND UPS' CONTROL"; Louisville, KY, US
9/28 Departure scan; Guangzhou, CN
9/28 Arrival/Departure scans; Incheon, KR
9/28 Arrival scan; Anchorage, AK, US
9/29 Departure scan; Anchorage, AK, US
10/2 "THE SHIPMENT IS BEING HELD BY BROKERAGE FOR REASONS BEYOND UPS' CONTROL / BROKERAGE RELEASED SHIPMENT. SHIPMENT IS SUBMITTED TO CLEARING AGENCY FOR FURTHER CLEARANCE," then: Import and Departure scans; Louisville, KY, US
10/2 Arrival/Departure scans; Minneapolis, MN, US
10/2 Arrival scan; Eagan, MN, US
10/3 Departure scan; Eagan, MN, US
10/3 Arrival, attempted delivery; Rochester, MN, US
10/4 2nd attempt; Rochester, MN, US
10/5 Successful delivery; Rochester, MN, US

I wonder if I should have specified something like, "Deliver after 4pm to avoid those annoying failed attempts." Ah well. I've waited this long, I can wait an extra couple days.

Time-displacement shipping

I just got a note from Lenovo, the horrible company that I will never again order a product from, regarding my order. I ordered a laptop and, since the discount was good, a 2GB jump drive as well. I received the jump drive about two weeks ago, but last week noticed that its estimated shipping date was bumped back to 10/25 or something like that. The laptop, meanwhile, was pushed back to 10/29. There's been no update to the invoice since then.

The subject line of this morning's email is "Electronic Receipt for Invoice 6371498 -- shipped on 10/17/2007." I'm thinking, "Sweet! Finally they shipped the damn laptop."

Upon opening the note, however, I found that no, the item that was shipped yesterday was my jump drive. The one that is currently plugged in to this computer. Yeah, that one. It'll arrive in roughly 4 days via UPS. Well, 4 days or negative 2 weeks. Whichever.

Oh, wait:

It looks like it was delivered on the 5th. It's nice that Lenovo finally got me a tracking number for something I've had in my possession for two weeks. I wonder what happens if I click that "Quantum View" tab, and if that has anything to do with the temporal discrepancy.

I'm feeling a strong urge to cancel the order now just out of spite. At the very least I should call and bitch at them some more. But then I might get stuck on another committee.